Lang Zi Says
by xx-animeXalchemist-xx
Summary: Shi-Long Lang is forever giving quotes from his precious Lang Zi. One day, Kay comes up with a game in which she manages to get everyone to play... Written for laughs, enjoy! This fic contains everything...
1. The Start of a Tournament!

**Another PW fanfic! Although I guess it's an ME fanfic seeing as I'm using char's from there... Oh well! I'm gonna object to myself cuz this story is in contradiction to the last one. I said that I think Phoenix and Miles are AWESOME together (which they totally are) but this story is about Lang and Edgeworth together (cuz this is also another kickass combo!) I've actually not found any fics about these two yet so I'll set the trend and go first! _Oh, the pressure! _So I don't own the Ace Attorney series (one day I hope I will) and this story contains shounen-ai (but it's VERY light) so what is the point in reading this and flaming if you don't like it?  
*WARNING* Contains spoilers for Ace Attorney Investigations!  
_Summary: Shi-Long Lang is forever giving quotes from his precious Lang Zi. One day, Kay comes up with a game in which she manages to get everyone to play..._**

x~x~x~x~x

Lang Zi Says...

Chapter One- The Start Of A Tournament!

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 1.30 pm-  
-Place: High Prosecutor's Office-

Miles Edgeworth was enjoying a wonderful cup of tea at the time. He was sat on the sofa he had in his office and had thought to himself,_ what a pleasant day. So peaceful..._ But sadly his day was about to be thrown into chaos, which seemed to be a regular occurrence lately. As he was about to take another sip of tea from his very expensive tea cup, the door to his office was flung open dramatically, causing the prosecutor to nearly spill the hot liquid all over his beloved cravat. Needless to say, this didn't put him in a good mood.

"Good morning Mr. Edgeworth!" exclaimed a cheery Kay as she skipped into the office.  
"Yeah, mornin' pal!" came the familiar voice of a certain scruffy detective.

Miles just glared at them before icily replying, "It's the afternoon."  
"Oh Gummy, you're so silly! I can't believe you thought it was the morning!" laughed Kay.  
_If I'm not mistaken, you were the one who claimed that it was the morning first. _However, Edgeworth didn't even bother pressing the subject as it seemed pointless.  
"May I inquire as to why you are in my office?"  
"Sure thing Mr. Edgeworth, sir! You see pal, Kay came up with this really good game! We've already gathered quite a few players but we wanted you to join us."

Edgeworth stared blankly at the detective for a moment. "You're seriously telling me that you bothered to interrupt me in my office to come and ask me to play a game? I'll have you know that I am very busy, and this is not a play ground!"  
"Oh calm down Mr. Edgeworth," Kay said, flopping down beside him on the sofa, "We don't mean to play the game _here_, and besides you're just drinking some fancy, floral smelling tea. It doesn't look like you're _that _busy."  
"Regardless, I have absolutely no interest in playing you're game Kay."  
"Mr. Edgewoooooooooorth!" Kay started moaning and pouted.  
"Nngh... Fine! Just stop making such a fuss, I'll play you're stupid game okay?"  
"Yay!" The budding thief bounced up off the sofa and grabbed the prosecutor by the arm, dragging him along. Gumshoe followed behind.

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 2.00 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

After walking for (what seemed to Miles like) a very long time, Kay suddenly stopped with a huge grin on her face.  
"Here we are!" she announced happily, motioning to a field they were standing right next to. With ease, the young Yatagarasu jumped the fence (a move she had been trying to perfect because, you know, she's a great thief and all that jazz). Gumshoe lumbered over the metal gate with much less elegance than the dark haired girl before him and Edgeworth just stared at the barrier in his way before gently _pushing_ it open and walking through.

After realizing that it was open all along, Gumshoe gave a sheepish grin and scratched the back of his head, whereas Kay folded her arms and huffed.  
"Mr. Edgeworth, you were _supposed_ to climb over! Why are you always so boring?"  
_If I recall correctly, this "boring" man has caught the fake Yatagarasu, solved your father's murder and put the ring leader behind bars... _But once again the prosecutor knew that objecting would be a waste of time.

After a bit more walking, figures started to come into view. There were quite a few actually.  
"Kay, Detective Gumshoe... Just how many people have you forced into playing this game?"  
"We've not "forced" anyone sir! They're all here because they wanted a bit of time to relax pal."  
"Yeah... No forcing was involved at all... hee, hee, hee." The air around Kay momentarily dropped below freezing and Edgeworth knew that there was no way _this_ many people would be here because they actually _wanted _to play Kay's game.

Once they had reached the group, all Miles could do was stare for a bit. There were so many people here:

Franziska von Karma  
Shi-Long Lang  
Maggey Byrde  
Mike Meekins  
Ema Skye  
Lana Skye  
Rhoda Teneiro  
Lauren Paups  
Colias Palaeno

While he was stunned at the turn-out, Miles couldn't help wondering how they'd managed to drag Franziska into this, how in hell did they get an _embassedor _over here and thank God they didn't invite a certain old woman or annoying friend.

Miles was greeted in various ways from this incredibly odd group (it's a game! Figure out who said what!):

"Ha! Looks like the ever foolish fool Miles Edgeworth has been dragged into playing this foolishly foolish game with these other foolish fools!"  
_Ummmm... Reality check Franziska, you're here too! _Of course the prosecutor would never dream of saying such a thing out loud for fear of getting whipped to death.

"Well if it isn't Mr. Prosecutor. Welcome to the party pretty boy!"  
_I swear if he calls me pretty boy one more time..._

"It's great to see you again Mr. Edgeworth. I'm not sure what type of game this is, but I plan to win using the power of science!"

"O-oh... Calm down Lauren! N-no, your heart doesn't belong to him... Oh no!"

"It's great that you're back Edgeworth, it's been quite a while hasn't it? My sister dragged me here by the way, I wouldn't usually have time for such trifles as these."

*OTT salute* "Sir! It's good to see you again sir!"

"Mr Edgeworth! How have you been? You've been using that suitcase I gave you right?"

"U-um... I'm a bailiff now sir... Good to see you again... THIS LITTLE MAN WILL DO HIS BEST TO WIN!

"Ah, Mr. Edgewoth. It is so good to see you. Please, on behalf of Cohdophia accept these coupons!"

x~x~x~x~x

"Ok, now that everyone has said hi it's time for me to reveal my awesome game!" Kay jumped into the middle of the group, commanding their attention. "If I'm completely honest, my game was inspired by something Wolfy commonly says." She beamed at Lang before continuing, "It's a completely original game called... Lang Zi Says! The rules of the game are simple. Everyone takes turns to say what Lang Zi says, and the person they are aiming for has to perform it. No matter what!" She tacked onto the end. "Failure to comply with Lang Zi's request results in immediate disqualification. Eventually only one will be left standing and they will become the champion! Any questions?"

Kay got a load of blank stares as a reply. Franziska ended up being the one to break the silence.  
"Of all the foolishly foolish... This is just Simon Says! All you have done is substituted Simon with Lang Zi!"

Kay refused to let von Karma faze her. "That's where you're wrong! Lang Zi is _always_ saying something and so you can't be caught out like in Simon Says. Plus Lang Zi can say anything. He could make you reveal you're deepest secrets or make you do something hilarious!"  
More blank stares, this time with an interruption from Ema.  
"Well then... That would make this a variation on the game Truth or Dare wouldn't it? Scientifically speaking that is."

Upon hearing this, Kay puffed out her cheeks and pouted. "Hey! Can everyone just stop complaining? I come up with a fun game and all you do is poke holes through it! Can we just play it please?"  
Seeing as they were already there, everyone decided that they might as well go ahead and participate.

And so began the epic game known as Lang Zi says...

x~x~x~x~x

**Yup, finished chapter one. I think I'm only gonna add one more chapter to this fic. Told ya the shounen-ai was light, there wasn't any in this chapter! XP But there will be some in the next chapter when we find out once and for all who the Lang Zi Says champion will be! I guess I should say the inspiration for me liking this couple is cuz Lang is forever calling Edgeworth Pretty Boy and I know there's a hidden meaning behind that somewhere!  
If anyone has any suggestions for the Lang Zi dares/truths they want a character to have, please tell me and I'll try work it into the story. Anyways, please review! The more reviews I get, the faster I'll start writing the next chapter and then the sooner you'll see some LangxEdgey action! ^_^  
Thank you for reading this!**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	2. Mike Meekins

**And on we go to chapter 2!! I like this fic, seeing as I actually have an excuse now to make them all do extreme randomness! Anyways, I'll just shut up now and give you the rest of this story. I nearly forgot to mention! I said that this would be the last part but I think i'm gonna draw this out. So from now on every chapter will be about someone's Lang Zi Says. They won't necessarily be out in that chapter. This is so YOU can suggest stuff and it makes life easier on me. And for those who DON'T like shounen-ai then you're in luck! That's gonna come in later chapters, I have decided. I'm such a tease! XP  
Oh yeah... Standard disclaimer/warning thingy. You know the drill: I own nothing, contains spoilers, contains absolute nonsense, contains a man-eating squirrel... o.0**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Two- Mike Meekins

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 2.15 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

"ALRIGHT!! Ladies and Gentlemen, are you ready for the first ever Lang Zi Says tournament?! I know I am, and I'm looking forward to some serious competition! I'm your host Kay Faraday, and I'll also be doing the judging so without further ado-"

"Kay! ... Where on earth did you get that microphone from?! And where did that huge stage you're on come from?! And what's with all the dramatic lights and _awful _theme music?!" The theme music Edgeworth was referring to is Kay's voice on a rock tune singing, "L-l-l-l Lang Zi! L-l-l-l Lang Zi! This is the Lang Zi Says tournament! Lalalalalalala~ LANG ZI!!!"

The music stopped and Kay glared daggers into the prosecutor. "I'll have you know that I worked really hard on recording this theme! And Mr. Edgeworth, you should never underestimate what the Yatagarasu can do. All this was a piece of cake!"  
"...What did you do? And how did this all just randomly appear here?!"  
"It's elementary, my dear Edgeworth. Just use that logic of yours!" Kay laughed heartily and thought about how nice it was for up-and-coming band 'The Gavinners' to lend her the stage and equipment and how kind it was of 'Troupe Gramarye' to make it possible for everything to appear like magic. _Well,_ she thought, _They did keep their end of the bargain so I guess I'll give Klavier his motor-bike back, and return those weird bracelets to Thalassa Gramarye. _Kay hadn't really _black-mailed_ them, she'd just "borrowed" something that was of some value and said she'd give it back in exchange for one small favor. That wasn't against the law was it?

The Lang Zi Says theme started up again.  
"Anyway, as I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted," *not so subtle point to Miles* ,"Without further ado let the games begin! Starting us off today will be... Maggey Byrde! Maggey, who will Lang Zi be saying something too? Ooooooh I can't stand the suspense!"

Maggey looked around the group. Since her day looked like it was going to be spent playing this game, she thought she might as well try to win. In fact, that was the thought everyone had. Maggey decided to play it tactical, and get rid of the weak ones first.  
"Mike Meekins."  
"Y-yes?"  
"Lang Zi Says... Um, er, hmmmm... Oh, I know! Lang Zi Says climb that tree, all the way to the top!" She pointed to indicate the tree she was on about and smirked (which was very unlike Maggey but she was determined to win this thing). Maggey had known Meekins back when they were both on the police force and she remembered how pale he had gone when they had to go onto a roof to catch a criminal. She learned that day that Mike hated heights.  
The poor man looked at the tree and gulped. However he pulled out his megaphone and said, "THIS LITTLE MAN WILL CONQUER HIS FEAR OF HEIGHTS TODAY SIR!!!" With that, he marched defiantly up to the tree and grabbed onto the lowest branch.

Everyone watched as, slowly but surely, the ex-officer called upon all his upper body strength (so that wasn't a lot) and made his way closer and closer to the top. He was doing pretty well, Maggey thought that she had wasted her Lang Zi Says, until a small rustle from the branch above made him start.  
"W-what was that?" He froze.  
"C'mon, you can do it! Don't just stop!" encouraged Kay from her stage, but Mike wouldn't move. He had looked down and although he was only about 2 meters off the ground, he had a panic attack.  
"T-this is way too high! I-I can't. Plus, there's something here... I AM SCARED SIR!!!"  
There was more rustling. Everyone saw the shaking but didn't take much notice, telling Mike to get a move on. Before the unfortunate man in the tree could gather up enough courage to _breathe_ properly, a flash of grey streaked down from above and... SMACK!!!

Meekins fell from the tree and landed in a very painful way. He just lay there, motionless for a bit and the group started to worry. Ema looked up to see if she could scientifically discover what had caused his fall. The answer became clear a few moments later when Meekins jumped up and started doing a most peculiar dance. He was making weird noises as he twirled, did the splits, wiggled his hips and various other moves that were unsettling to watch.

"What on earth is this foolish fool playing at?!" Asked Franziska angrily, readying her whip to put an end to this atrocious dance. Just as she was raising it up, about to give her first vicious lash, her soon-to-be victim pulled out his megaphone and shouted, "SQUIRREL IN MY PANTS!!  
This stopped the young von Karma from attacking as she tried to figure out what the hell he was on about. As if in answer, a grey squirrel scurried out from the ex-officer's pants and ran up his back.

Once near his neck, the squirrel bit down hard, causing the man it was biting to let out a scream. That seemed to spur the little creature on more, releasing a barrage of attacks on Meekins. Everyone was horrified, apart from Lang (who thought that this whole fiasco was rather amusing) and Kay (who had started commentating on the match from the stage).  
"And we have Meekins from the blue corner taking some serious damage from the red corner's squirrel. I would say that this fight could go to anyone but it's just so one-sided! Oh my! Looks like the squirrel's going in for the pin... 3... 2... 1... KNOCK OUT!!!"  
Edgeworth looked at Kay wearily. _She's having WAY too much fun. What kind of sick person would enjoy something like this?! _Lang let out a chuckle at the outcome of the match. _Obviously THAT kind of sick person..._

After the commotion had died down a bit and the squirrel had gone back to the tree and Mike had regained conciousness, Kay lifted the microphone to her lips to announce something very important.  
"Mike Meekins! Lang Zi is very angry with you as you did not meet his request! That being the case, you are the first one out of the first annual Lang Zi Says tournament! Please join me on the stage and sit to the right on the loser's bench. You are now a spectator!"  
Mike was actually relieved. It would be much safer if he was just watching the action. He didn't really think he could win anyway. And so he joined the young thief up on the stage as the first one out to see who would be next to face the horrific (but brilliant) game that is...

Lang Zi Says.

x~x~x~x~x

**So we lost Meekins here, it's kind of a shame but I didn't really know what to do with him. I guess he can still get involved even though he's just watching now. Please read and review! Remember, any suggestions you have for the characters Lang Zi Says are welcome. Please review, they give me energy to carry on writing randomness!!  
Until next time! ^_^**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx  
**


	3. The Ambassador and The Wolf

**More tournament action! Yay, I can hardly wait *goes into spazz attack***

**Pearly: Ummmm... Are you okay Kyo? [A/N Kyo's my nickname]**

**Kyo: OMIGOD!!! *bigger spazz* Pearly! How are you?? And... what are you doing here?**

**Pearly: Well... you see Kyo-**

**Kyo: Call me mum!**

**Pearly: O.O Err... no**

**Kyo: Why not?! *cries***

**Pearly: Wha-?! I'm sorry! Look, I just came because I sensed a stressed spirit nearby**

**Meekins: *lies on stage, barely conscious after squirrel wrestling match***

**Pearly: Oh my... what happened?**

**Kyo: Oh, just a squirrel... *grins evilly* Anyways, you gotta go!**

**Pearly: But I need to say something important!**

**Kyo: What?**

**Pearly: Kyo doesn't own anything. Only her really messed up brain where the plots for her nonsense comes from**

**Kyo: And I also put in a _bit_ of Shounen-ai cuz I'm in a good mood~ *sparkles***

**Pearly: Ummmm... What's shounen-ai?**

**Kyo: Well Pearly... *launches into a very detailed account of shounen-ai and yaoi*  
**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Three- The Ambassador and The Wolf

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 2.45 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

"Well that was certainly an interesting outcome! But nevertheless, we continue!" Kay was twirling around the stage, absolutely loving the way things were going. "Okay! So, the next person who gets to dish out a Lang Zi Says is... Miles Edgeworth!

Edgeworth just stared at Kay in disbelief. _Is she seriously going to continue on with this madness?_ "Kay," he began, " I don't want to-"

"NO WAY! You're staying in this competition Mr. Edgeworth!"  
"I don't want to, I have better things to be doing than-"  
"Ha! Pretty boy just doesn't wanna embarrass himself, he can't even give one of us something to do!" Lang smirked. Edgeworth glared.  
_If I wanted to, I could win this thing, but what's the point? I mean, besides the fact that Lang will be pissed off cuz he lost to me?? ... I'M WINNING THIS THING!!_

Miles let a smirk cross his lips, it would be nice to take Lang down a peg or two. However, the further Lang got into the competition, the sweeter his fall would be so he wouldn't use his current Lang Zi Says on him. Instead, the prosecutor (having the best logic in the world) had spotted a huge flaw in Kay's game. He'd just get rid of someone who wasn't gonna be much of a competition, after all Miles _loved_ a challenge.

"Colias Palaeno," announced Edgeworth, "I'm sorry to do this to you. But... Lang Zi Says, drop out of the tournament."

...

...

...

...

"WHAT?!" Everyone exclaimed at the same time. The silver haired man just crossed his arms and looked cool, glancing at Kay to see her reaction. She seemed at a loss. Eventually, she smacked her hand up to her forehead, cursing herself for missing such a gaping hole in her perfect game.

"That Lang Zi is not allowed!" Kay seemed resolute in this statement and folded her arms, nodding to prove she meant business.  
"And why not?" asked Edgeworth breezily.  
"Because it says so in the rule book!"  
Miles raised an eyebrow quizzically, "Rulebook?"  
"Yes! This one-" the thief ran to a chest on the left of the stage, pulling out a very big, very old looking book, -"right here!" She grinned. Clearing her throat in a very Grossberg-esque way, she proclaimed grandly while flipping through the pages, "If, Mr. Edgeworth, you would be so kind as to direct your attention to page 384, paragraph 6, sub section C... Aha! Found it! Ahem, you will see that the Lang Zi you have just issued is an illegal move. And as a man of the law, I'm disappointed that you would do such a thing!"

She jumped down off the stage and shoved the book in the 'offender's' face. "See?" she said.  
Everyone was watching to see what Edgeworth's reaction would be. There was silence, before Miles said in his I-was-calm-but-you're-really-starting-to-bug-me-now voice, "The page is blank."  
Kay looked absolutely shocked, and looked at the page. "No it isn't."  
"Yes it is! There is no such rule written there, just accept the fact that you're game is flawed."  
Kay flipped to the front of the book and showed the prosecutor the first page. In Kay's messy handwriting, this had been written:

_Anything Kay say's is absolute. It is her game and so she is the one who  
decides what the rules may be. If the rules are changed during the game  
by her, it is acceptable. This applies to all pages. So stop being such a pain...  
Mr. Edgeworth!_

"Nngh! You wrote my name there?!"  
"Well yeah, I knew you'd try pull something sneaky! This prevents that from happening. Ambassador Palaeno is safe, that's final!"  
Edgeworth glared, _she can't just change the rules like that! _However, while the two were busy having a heated staring contest Lana lightly tapped Edgeworth on the shoulder and said, "Edgeworth, the ambassador has left."  
"What?!" exclaimed Kay, looking around for him. "What happened?"  
"Well," Lana said matter-o-factly (naturally) "he saw something in that chest you got that book out of. Before I realized it, he had taken the chest and was gone."

Kay whipped around, looking at the empty spot where the chest had once been. "That thieving little... How dare he steal from me?! Does he know who I am?! The Yatagarasu, that's who!" But it was too late, Colias was long gone.

You may be wondering why such a kind-hearted ambassador had stolen something. I'll tell you dear reader!

x~x~x~x~x

--Date: Thursday, May--  
--Time: 10.45 am--  
--Place: Cohdophia--

"Please?"

"I'm ever so sorry, but I can't..."

"Please, please, please?"

"I'm busy..."

"Pretty please with sugar lumps on top?" Kay put on her puppy dog eyes and used them on the flustered ambassador.

"Miss. Faraday, you've been asking me for hours. I can't come and play you're game at the weekend. I have a country to run, I'm sorry."  
Kay just pouted, she wanted someone of high rank there to make the first Lang Zi Says tournament special. Yet here he was, the ambassador of a country, refusing to partake in her game! How dare he?! The blonde man saw he had upset the girl in front of him and so he did the thing he always did when he was unsure of what to do.  
"I'm sorry, but look! Take these coupons!"

Kay took the coupons and sulked out of the office. _Stupid big leader of a stupid big country and his stupid little coupons! He'd be totally lost wothout these things! ... _*light bulb*

--Date: Thursday, May--  
--Time: 3:22 am--  
--Place: Cohdophia--

*ring, ring* ... *beep*

"H-hello?" came the sleepy voice of the ambassador.

"We have them." Came a modified voice from the other end of the phone call. The voice sounded like that of some random alien that you'd find on Doctor Who or Star Wars. Or maybe it was what Oldbag sounded like when she was back on her home planet... [A/N She _could_ be an alien... she has the outfit!]

"You have what?" asked a perplexed Palaeno.

"Your precious coupons, ALL OF THEM! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! And we have the printing press to, so don't think you can just print more off!"

"NO!! Not my coupons, anything but my darling coupons!" Colias was now fully awake and frantic. "I'll do anything, ANYTHING! Name it, what do you want?"

"Go to the field on the map you will find on your desk in the morning. Go there this Saturday at about 1:45 pm. Not a word of this to anyone... Oh! And the people who will be there have nothing to do with this!"

"O-okay, I'll be there."

"YAY! See you there Ambassedor!" _Uh oh! Damn, he'll know it's me now! Think Kay, think!  
_*cough cough* "Errr... By that I mean, perfect. Sorry, I have... tourrets..." _Kay, you are a genius! How are you so brilliant?_

With that, the phone went dead and poor Palaeno could only think about his poor coupons.

The next day, Kay placed all the coupons in a chest. The very chest that the ambassador would soon steal on Saturday.

x~x~x~x~x

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 2.50 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

Kay let out a deep sigh, but soon made a swift recovery. Leaping back onto her stage she brought the microphone to her lips to announce the next course of action.

"What a surprising turn of events! It looks like the ambassador is out by default, oh well... On to the next Lang Zi Says! And the person dishing out the orders, and be warned you can't try anything funny like Mr. Edgeworth, is... Franziska von Karma! And I also have a new rule that will take effect immediately: If someone is Lang Zi-ed to do something to someone else, they must be compliant. So if someone had to hug someone, the person being hugged doesn't get a say. Okay? Anyway, lets see what this young prosecutor has in mind, over to you Franzy!"

"You foolish fool... If you ever call me by that name again!" She smacked her whip against the ground to get her point across. It still made a loud CRACK [A/N Hahahaha! Crack! XP Yummy...] sound despite the fact they were in a field and therefore on grass. Kay paled and nodded to show she wouldn't make that mistake again.

Franziska was in a different mindset from Miles (obviously) and she wanted to get rid of the tough competition first. She decided to turn this new rule to her advantage and target two potentially strong competitors.

"Shi-Long Lang." She said. Lang looked up with wanting burning in his eyes. He desperately wanted to get in on the action of this game after the squirrel fiasco earlier and he knew that the blue haired hot head would give him a challenge. _Whatever she's gonna throw at me, I'm gonna do it. No matter what!_

A smirk came to the whip-obsessed girl as she coolly said, "Lang Zi Says go to Miles Edgeworth and take off his cravat. Once you have it, stick it all the way down your pants and keep it there."

...

...

...

...

"WHAT?!" exclaimed the majority of the group. Lang had a bring-it-on expression and started prowling towards the (now) crimson faced prosecutor. Kay was having a fan girl moment (she was a secret shounen-ai fan. Her manga collection was pretty extensive).

The group looked on with confused, interested and shocked faces in anticipation to see if the Wolf would actually go through with it.

"N-ngh... t-there's no way in hell you're doing that! Do you hear me?!"

Lang just walked towards the prosecutor who was starting to back off.

Kay appeared behind him and grabbed him, holding him in place.  
"Remember the new rule Mr. Edgeworth? You don't have a say! Hee, hee, sorry!"  
_You don't sound sorry! _thought Edgeworth. He pulled his attention away from Kay and jumped when he felt his coveted cravat slipped off of him.

"HEY! DON'T YOU DARE!"

But it was to late. Lang gave Edgey a certain look that made him angry and embarrassed at the same time. The silver haired man watched helplessly as the brunette shoved the cravat down his pants. Once the cravat was out of sight (well sort of, Lang now had a slight bulge in _that _area because the cravat padded it out a bit) Kay let out a huge squeal and everyone else was gobsmacked.

Lang just gave a cheeky, "Heh!" and looked at Kay. "You ain't getting rid of me so soon! Anyway little Yatagarasu, who's up next?"

Kay pulled herself together, ready to tell the still stunned group who was to give out the next Lang Zi Says.

And so the epically random game continues!

x~x~x~x~x

**Pearly: *reading Junjou Romantica* Wow... This is... AMAZING!!**

**Kyo: I know right?! Don't you think Hiroki and Nowaki are the best?! *fan girl scream***

**Pearly: I like Misaki and Akhiko best!**

**Kyo: O_O Pfft... Well whatever floats yer boat!**

**Pearly: I can't wait to show Mystic Maya!**

**Kyo: Sure... but don't say I introduced you to it okay? I don't want some weird curse put on me for opening you're eyes to this awesome genre!**

**Pearly: *gleefully* Okay! Oh... *looks at you guys* Thank you for reading Kyo's fic!**

**Kyo: Yeah, you guys are the best! ... But you'll be even better if you review! I love reviews!**

**Pearly: Yes, please review!**

**Kyo: Okay, so we're settled! Review and I won't set the man eating squirrel on you! ^_^**

**Pearly: "-.- Is that why poor Mr. Meekins is like that? *points to Meekins who is still suffering severe trauma***

**Kyo: Hee, hee... Just go back to reading Junjou Pearly. It doesn't matter!**

**Pearly: ... *starts reading again***

**Kyo: Well that's all for now! Until next time guys! And don't forget to review please! Remember my squirrel threat? *deadly serious***


	4. Here Come The Girls!

**So I usually try and update every week but last time I wrote a oneshot because I HAD to! Seriously, my brain was all like _write it! _and so I did. Check it out if you want, but not after you've read the next chapter of this fic! Somehow, this chapter got away from me and turned into a mini novel...  
So, this chapter is seriously random... I'm not sure _what _I was thinking... Oh well! I hope you've played all the games cuz then you'll get max. enjoyment from this chappy! You'll see...  
Pfft... I own nothing... apart from the story... Capcom gets the characters... For now anyway... *ominous aura*  
WARNING: Contains... well we're on chapter 4 of this thing so I think you're used to what it contains now!**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter 4- Here Come The Girls!

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 2.55 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

"Things are heating up here at the first annual Lang Zi Says tournament! I'm on the edge of my seat in anticipation as to what will happen next! I'm your host Kay Faraday and I'm here to make sure everything stays under control!"

_So you're idea of control is having someone beaten half to death by a squirrel and have someone shove my precious cravat down their pants?! _Miles was in a positively bitter mood. He didn't care about winning anymore; he could beat Lang some other day when the agent wasn't under any obligations to shove pieces of the prosecutors clothing down his pants. And so, seething, Miles was about to announce his dropping out when Kay said something that made him reconsider.

"New rule! The winner of this tournament will not only gain the 'Lang Zi Says Champion' title, but will also get to choose one of the contestants to be theirs for the day. They'll have to do _anything _you say!" Kay looked at Edgeworth for the next bit, "So if you drop out, you still may face being someone's slave. This way, people will compete to the best of their abilities, good luck!"

_Very clever Kay, very clever indeed... Well with a potential threat like that hanging over me, I guess I can't lose. _The prosecutor shuddered as he thought, _if Franziska wins, I have a feeling she'll be exacting that 'revenge' stuff she's always talking about. I'll definitely have to last out longer than her._

"Giving her first Lang Zi Says, Ema Skye is up next! You know the drill, choose your victim wisely~" Kay practically sang, leaping about the stage.

Glancing around the group, Ema pondered the best course of action. _Scientifically speaking, I should go after the strongest players to boost my chances of winning. But then if I chose one of them, they'd make sure to take me out of the competition on their Lang Zi if they complete mine... So I guess I'll get a weaker player out, all scientific analysis show's that this is the best possible option. _While she was lost in her thoughts, she had pulled out her little pink PDA to make sure that her mental calculations were correct. Happy with the outcome she cleared her throat, ready to announce who her target was.

"Lauren Paups."

"O-oh my... Calm down Lauren! I-it's just a d-dare..." The poor girl was visibly shaking and Ema knew that she had chosen the right person to go after. Although she felt mean for doing this, she knew how to get her out.

"Lauren, Lang Zi Says do you have a crush on Mr. Edgeworth?"

It really was a wonder that Miss. Paups kept her consciousness. She didn't look like she'd keep it for long though. Her face drained of any colour and she was shaking violently. Despite the fact that the answer was obvious, she still managed to stutter out a, "N-no..."

*BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP*

As soon as this obvious lie had left Laurens lips, a very loud bleeping noise sounded. Everyone looked around to see what it was and where it was coming from. Their attention shifted to Kay on the stage, who was reaching into the bag around her waist. After a while of rummaging she produced a very familiar contraption: Little Thief. It was bleeping like crazy and Kay just looked at it for a moment before pressing a button to shut it up. After an overly dramatic pause from the young thief, she made an announcement. "That statement," *another dramatic pause* "is a lie!"

I think there was a shared emotion of, "DUH!" when she said that, but nobody bothered to pass comment. Instead, Maggey inquired how the young Yatagarasu knew this.  
"Simple!" beamed Kay. "You see, Little Thief has many talents. As well as being able to recreate buildings and situations, he also has an interrogation system. Basically, Little Thief is also a lie detector, so none of you will ever be able to tell a lie during this tournament! Because Lauren lied, she is out. Let this be an example to all of you, DON'T LIE! Just so you get the point, I'LL give the next Lang Zi okay? And I ask Miss. Rhoda Teneiro what her current, biggest secret is."

"Objection! You can't do that!"

Kay wasn't at all surprised that Miles had interrupted her.

"You're not even _in _this competition, so you can't give out Lang Zi's."

Kay didn't say anything, just pulled out that huge rule book from earlier and flipped to the first page, pointing at the scruffily written paragraph. Despite the rule, Edgeworth still protested until Lana calmed him down, telling him that he was never going to win this argument.

"As I was saying, Rhoda Teneiro. Lang Zi Says what is you're current, biggest secret?"

All eyes were on Rhoda and she shifted uncomfortably. Kay half expected her to say that she also had a crush on the silver haired man, but no one was prepared for what it really was.

"I'm... wearing chocolate underwear." [A/N Honestly, for me this is probably the ONLY time when WTF and FTW actually mean the same thing!!]

Nobody knew how to respond to that. Everyone had a look on their face that was similar to this: O.O  
Little Thief didn't set off bleeping so she must have been telling the truth.

"You foolishly foolish fool doing foolishly foolish things! What the hell are you wearing chocolate undergarments for?!" Franziska was kind enough to ask the question vying on everyone's minds. However, Rhoda simply smiled and said, "As a professional flight attendant I realize that this question has nothing to do with anything. But seeing as you all seem so curious, the only answer I can think of is: Why not? Have you never done something crazy before?"

That got everyone thinking. Only _thinking._ They had enough common sense to keep it to themselves. Well, the majority of them did. Gumshoe was the exception.

"Yeah, I totally understand what you mean pal! The craziest thing I've ever done is put that tracking device Franziska put on me back on her! And she totally doesn't know it's still on her!" Gumshoe stopped laughing when he realized what he had just done. If you are a COD player, then you know the damage that air strikes or tactical nukes can deal. However these weapons are nothing compared to what Franziska and her whip did to Gumshoe.

The poor detective ended up getting dumped beside Meekins on the stage, unfit to continue. Maggey gave Franziska serious evils, looking like she was gonna kill the prosecutor but thought better of it when Franziska looked set to do the same thing to her.

"Okaaaaaaaaayyyyyy... On with the tournament then?"

"Kay! Seriously, enough is enough. Just admit that it's time to end this thing!"

Lang came up behind Edgeworth and whispered in his ear, "Why? Are you scared pretty boy?" Lang's hot breath on his neck made Miles jump. "You're so busy finding contradictions in everything that you're not kicking back and enjoying the ride. So come on Mr. Prosecutor, live a little. It's not like you're gonna last much longer anyway..."  
Edgeworth spun around and glared at the wolf in front of him. His glare was met with a smirk.

"Agent Lang, I will _never _lose to you. I think you underestimate me."

"Oh, is that a challenge? Alright then, we'll just see who the winner of this tournament will be."

While the two of them were off in their own little world, Kay stated that Lana Skye was to give out the next Lang Zi Says.

Lana (being the smart individual she was) made a quick and concise statement: "Maggey Byrde, Lang Zi Says break my sisters PDA."

Ema gave a horrified gasp. Her PDA meant _everything _to her. With it, she could make accurate analysis, always be scientifically correct, plus it was a cute pink colour that was really hard to find. There was no way in Hell she would let anyone break her PDA. And Lana knew this, knowing that there would be ice-skating in Hell before Maggey had a chance of completing this Lang Zi. She decided to be even harsher.

"And I forgot to mention the fact that you only have ten minutes in which to complete this task. I'd get going if I were you." Lana motioned to the opposite end of the field and Maggey looked in the direction she was pointing only to see a glimpse of a white lab coat disappearing over the fence out of the field. Ema was making a break for it. Lana had anticipated this course of action from her younger sister and doubted Maggey would catch her and break her PDA in ten minutes. However, the ex-cop called upon all of her police training and was soon flying after her.

Their chase was being displayed on a huge big screen that was on the stage, with Kay narrating the high speed chase. How she had managed to hack into all the cameras around the city to catch the chase was beyond anyone. Edgeworth knew that he really shouldn't let the Yatagarasu get away with all she did, but he was too busy focusing on winning at the moment; no way in Hell was he gonna lose to Lang!

x~x~x~x~x

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 3.13 pm--  
--Place: City [High Speed Chase]--

--Ema's POV--

_She will NEVER break my PDA, NEVER!!!_

Ema was resolute; she was going to do everything within her power to save it from the evil police lady. She was impressed by how fast she could actually run (she was usually cooped up in a lab) and she had run quite a fair distance. Still going as fast as she could, she recognized some familiar surroundings. Hoping Maggey wouldn't see where she was headed, Ema ran into a very big building known as 'The Gatewater Hotel.'

The young scientist had been here before, but that was quite a while ago and so she found herself rather lost and running down random corridors that really weren't getting her anywhere. Suddenly there was a, "Can I help you, madam?"

Spinning around, the brunette saw a smartly dressed man carrying a tray and a smile that looked kinda creepy... like he was on drugs or something. However, Ema didn't have time to do any scientific calculations to try and figure out if this bellboy really _was _on drugs, and so she hurriedly asked for the exit.

--Maggey's POV--

_Damn that girl can run fast!! Where did she go??_

Looking around frantically, aware that her precious ten minutes were slowly slipping away, Maggey let out a defeated sigh. She had lost the young girl she was pursuing. It was then that Maggey saw some well known places. In fact, she was standing just a few metres away from the infamous 'Wright & Co. Law Offices.'

_Maybe I should go and say hi? No I can't, I still have to try and find the girl with the PDA..._

As soon as she'd had the thought, her target came rushing out of 'The Gatewater Hotel' and carried on down the street. Maggey gave chase.

--Ema's POV--

_Uh oh! She's gaining on me!! I have to get away as quickly as poss-_

"May I interest you in a lunch? You look like you're in a bit of a hurry, so why don't you try our new 'Sprinter Special,' it's very popular with all you health freaks."

Ema looked at the strangely familiar woman who was offering her lunch. She would have kept running but she was sure that she somehow knew this lady. She was tall, had light brown hair and a long black dress. There was a white feather boa around her neck and a small, pink hat atop her head.  
_How do I know this person?  
_Suddenly the woman tossed her head and her fringe changed direction. The angelic face she once had had disappeared, leaving a terrifying one behind.

"Are ya gonna buy a lunch or are ya just gonna stare at me all day?" Came a venomous voice. This set Ema flying down the street once more, still with the distinct feeling she knew that strange, strange lady.

The young forensic obsessed girl ran into the nearest building possible. Paying no attention to the sign at all and just running for dear life, she became vaguely aware of all the white rooms and the sterile smell.

_I'm in a hospital? Oh great, I gotta get out of here._

"Excuse me doctor," came a gruff voice, "But could you take a look at my granddaughters head. She is forever getting into road traffic accidents and her precious, little head is forever in bandages." Ema looked to see who had most erroneously called her a doctor.  
_How could someone mistake ME for a doctor?! _She looked around at the other doctors. _Ohhhhhhh, the white coat._

The brunette was about to inform the man of his mistake when she saw his face. He was old but shit was he scary! He had a look of death in his eyes and a huge scar reaching from the top of his bald head to just above one of his smoky grey eyebrows. He was wearing traditional Japanese robes which, again, were grey. Staring slightly longer than she should have, Ema tried to explain his mistake but was afraid he would kill her if she did. Then a small girl appeared from behind him, her head all bandaged up and had long, dark hair flowing down her back.

"Grandfather, I don't think she is a doctor... She looks most out of place, hee, hee, hee..."

_OMIGOD!! Creepy factor waaaaaaay over 100! That laugh, it gave me chills! I gotta get out of here now!  
_And so Ema made a mad dash for freedom, away from the creepy grandfather and grandchild that made the Adam's Family look normal.

--Maggey's POV--

_I think she came into the hospital._

Maggey entered the medical clinic, on the lookout for that white lab coat that was defining her target thus far. It failed, all the doctors had similar coats on. She cursed under her breath, trying to think of where the young girl might have gone when, "Why hello there!"

Turning around, the ex-cop nearly screamed at the man now in front of her. He had the most appalling teeth she'd ever seen and most of them were missing anyway. There was a very unusual tuft of pink hair on his head and he looked extremely... Well she couldn't exactly think of a word to describe this man. The young woman took note of his white coat and the stethoscope around his neck and her eyes widened.

_Surely this man isn't a doctor..._

Suddenly, his 'ew' factor went through the roof as he extended one of his hands and said in a very perverted way, "Come on, I need to give you your examination. Don't give me that frightened look; I'm the director of this hospital!"

"Oh good God!" Maggey didn't care weather or not Ema was in the hospital anymore, she refused to stay there a minute longer.  
As she made it back out onto the street, she saw her prey was also out of that dreaded hospital too. Ema clapped eyes on the one who was chasing her and started running again, hoping that she'd end up in a normal place this time.

--Ema's POV--

Her hopes were in vain. Whizzing past Gourd Lake (in which some crazy lady with a ginger afro attacked her with a camera, saying she was a fashion journalist and she liked her look) she ended up at some sort of studio. Not really caring what the studio was for, Ema rushed down a dirt path to a small building. Hoping the door was unlocked (it was, thankfully) she shoved it open and looked around. It was empty, or so she thought...

"Who are you?" Came an inquisitive voice. "If you're trying to get the Aluminum Samurai's autograph then back off! I was here first! I'm his biggest fan." The little kid who seemed to have materialized from no where gave her a smirk. He was a very odd boy, dressed in fluorescent green clothes and armed with what looked like a katana.

_Please say that isn't a real katana..._

The boy drew the weapon in question, asking over enthusiastically, "So do you have any trading cards? I really need this one card to complete my collection, but I totally can't find it anywhere!"

"U-um, no I'm sorry. I don't collect those cards so-"

"WHAT?! Then why the heck are you even here?!" The boy was getting more and more angry by the moment, until an ecstatic girls voice resounded in the air. A squealed, "NO WAY!! You have the last card I need! What do ya want for it?? I'll give you anything, here take your pick!" A slightly nerdy looking girl with glasses and freckles was holding up several cards for the boy to choose from. She was wearing a stripy top and seemed to be a hero to the young raven haired boy as she apparently had the card he needed.

Slightly disturbed, Ema backed away from the otaku's determined to find a place she could stand to be in until the time Maggey had was up.

--Maggey's POV--

_I think she ran into this studio..._

Maggey was right about the studio, just wrong about the correct one on the complex. Choosing a building on the opposite side from where Ema really was, Maggey found herself in a room with lots of tables and backdrops everywhere. She spotted a red door on the opposite end and went through expecting to find the forensic obsessed girl inside. However she got a spotty, fat guy who immediately started licking his lips in the most grotesque way you can imagine once she had entered the room.

"h0wz j00z d0in? oh y£$, j00 iz h0t! rokxz0rz!"

During this unintelligible mumbo-jumbo he carried on that sick, perverted licking action.  
_Why am I getting all the creeps today?! He's just as bad as that doctor!!_

Once again, Maggey made a break for it. She decided that she'd rather lose the tournament then be pursued by perverts for the next... how long was left?  
Glancing down at her watch she gasped in horror as she realized that she barely had any time left.

Exiting the studio and the complex she caught sight of Ema running away from her yet again.  
_I have to pick up the pace! I can't allow myself to lose!!_

--Ema's POV--

_All right! There can't be much time left now and my PDA is still a-okay... Scientifically speaking. Anyway, I need some place to waste the rest of the time, I can't keep this running up for much longer..._

Deciding that she couldn't find a more random place to hide out in compared to the places and people she had already encountered, Ema resolved she would enter the nearest possible place to bide the rest of the time. Despite the fact that that place appeared to be a circus the young girl carried on into it anyway. She took note of the name: Berry Big Circus.

Hiding anywhere she could find, Ema ended up behind some stage equipment. She was doing pretty well until a cheerful, "What are you doing?" made her jump out of her skin. Looking at who had nearly caused her to go into cardiac arrest, the brunette saw a blonde girl in a blinding pink, skimpy leotard encrusted with sequins. She had a little star wand in her hands and jumped up and down squealing, "Visitor, visitor!" As she bounced, her long blonde curls bobbed up and down with her and Ema did a scientific calculation in her head to calculate how long it would take for the tiara on this girl's head to fly off.

_This girl is WAAAAAAY to peppy. What is it with all the weirdos in this city?_

Sadly, Ema had yet another 'weirdo' to meet as a man (?) with long pink hair entered the room. He had two pinkish-purplish stars on his left cheek and exclaimed grandly, "Ah! My darling Regina! I have been looking for you, my sweetheart."

"Oh he's totally gay..." Ema thought to herself, only she accidentally said it out loud.

The man looked shocked and upset by this, and pointed at Ema accusingly while playing cards shot out from his sleeve and assaulted her.

"Do you not know who I am?! I am the great Max Galactica, amazing magician!"

Ema simply yawned and said, "Whatever, I prefer Troupe Gramarye anyways."

"How can you say that?! My show is a million times better than anything _they _could ever come up with! I am, after all, the only human in this world that has the ability of flight."

"Scientifically speaking, I'm sure you use a harness... or wires or something. Am I correct?"

"I'm sorry!" Sparkled the blonde girl who was apparently called Regina. "A magician never reveals his secrets!"

"Well there's not really much point in revealing them if they're so easy to figure out. Geez, if I wasn't set on becoming a forensic scientist then I'd consider becoming a detective. I mean, if I can figure out a trick so easily..."

"Hey! My magic is perfect! No one can see through it so easily!"

"So you don't use wires?"

At this, Max started to sweat slightly and fan himself with his hand.

_Aha! Gotcha! Ooooooh, that sounded pretty cool. Okay, from now on I'll make 'Gotcha!' my new catchphrase. No one uses it anyway..._

While Ema was busy trying out her new catchphrase in her head, Max was busy exploding and Regina was busy bobbing up and down and giggling for no apparent reason.

--Maggey's POV--

_She seriously ran into a CIRCUS?! This girl must be crazy!_

Despite seriously not wanting to, Maggey forced herself to enter the big top as this was probably her last chance to get that bloody PDA that was causing her so much suffering. Checking out all the rooms she could, trying to track the wannabe scientist down, Maggey ended up in a very messy room in which she found a monkey.

_Riiiiight, cuz every circus just HAS to have a monkey!_

Maggey wasn't in the best of moods, and a certain someone sensed that fact. "Hello there!" Came a friendly enough voice. "May I ask what you are doing in my room?"

"O-oh, I'm sorry. You see I was just looking for-" Maggey cut her sentence short when she realized who she was talking to. A clown. He had _very_ over the top makeup on and a huge ruffle thingy-ma-jig around his neck.

_Man that ruffly whatcha-ma-call-it must be really itchy...  
_"I know how to cheer you up, you seem stressed. Here, have a pear!" The clown stretched out a hand, offering the proposed fruit to the ex-cop.

"No thank you, I'll be fine without the pear," Maggey said kindly.  
_Is that a carrot on his hat??_

"Well then how about an apple?" Again he stretched out a hand, offering the dark brunette an apple.

"No, I don't want any fruit. I'm fine."

"Well then how about-"  
The clown kept offering Maggey different kinds of fruit until she was visibly nearing an explosion. Deciding it was time for his big finish the clown said, "Well then you must want an orange!"

"I DON'T WANT ANY FRUIT!!" Maggey reached her limit and errupted.

"Well then orange ya glad I didn't offer you any more fruit then?? Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha! Aha!" The strange, orange haired performer went into hysterics over one of the worst jokes Maggey had ever heard.

"Gah! I don't have time for this!" Growled a very angry Maggey as she stormed out of the clown's room and into the fresh air.

_Why aren't there any normal people in this world?_

As she thought this_, _she spotted a normal enough looking guy a few feet away from her. He was pretty plain, clad in a blue blouse and white blazer but at least he was _much _more preferable to the other people she had run into that day. Granted the man had a hugely over-sized, red bow tie around his neck but he _was _in a circus so Maggey accepted the fact that he had to be a _little _eccentric.

Scratch that last part, he was _very _eccentric. Off his nut with the rest of them. Maggey soon found this to be the case when she asked him if he'd seen a girl in a white lab coat pass by. At first he refused to speak, so when the young woman pressed for an answer she was met with a mouthful... from a puppet.

"She's talking to you dumbass! Geez, can't you do _anything _right?" The mute man had pulled out a wooden puppet and was making it scream at himself. The puppet then started punching his face rather violently. Maggey couldn't help but stare at the strange scene playing out in front of her.

"What the Hell are _you _staring at lady?!" Suddenly the puppet was attacking her.

"U-um... I-I was just..." Maggey was lost for words and any words that did come out were stuttered.

_Wait a minute... WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?! It's a PUPPET!! It's just a piece of wood, right?? Am I seriously gonna take THIS kind of attitude from a tree stump?!_

_[A/N The subsequent argument that flared up between Maggey and the puppet (whom she found out was called Trilo) contained some VERY strong language and some of the stuff said is even illegal in some places. As a result of this, I have been forced NOT to document what was said or done, although I did find out some very interesting, new words that day...]_

--Normal POV--

Ema was sick of arguing with the 'Great Max Galactica' and walked off while he was in mid rant. Maggey was very close to finding something that would set the smart-mouthed puppet on fire when she saw Ema emerging from the big top. Seizing the opportunity, she dashed off to get the PDA until...

*Loud helicopter noises*

"Maggey Byrde!" Came a very familiar voice from a megaphone that seemed to be coming from the helicopter that was now above them. "In case you can't tell, it's me, Kay! And I'm here to tell you that time is up and you are therefore _out _of the Lang Zi Says tournament."

Maggey was completely enraged. _After all the shit I've been through, I'm OUT?! What the Hell is that about?! _We really were seeing a side of Maggey that was rarely seen.

Ema was jumping up and down happily, hugging her pink PDA close to her.

"Ema Skye!" Called Kay's voice from the chopper, "You are also out of the tournament."

Ema stopped jumping and shouted, "WHAT?!"  
Kay couldn't hear her, but she read her lips and proceeded to explain.

"The rule was that if someone was Lang Zi-ed to do something to someone else, that person doesn't have a say and needs to be complaint. Thanks to you running off and resisting as much as you possibly could, you violated the rules and so you are also out with Maggey.

Ema didn't take her loss too badly, the only thing she cared about at that moment was that her PDA was safe. The two ex-contestants were picked up by Kay's helicopter and taken back to the Random Field.

x~x~x~x~x

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 3.23 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

Everyone just had the most epic 'WTF?!' faces on. They had seen all the events unfold on the big screen and nobody seriously knew what to say. Of course there were the obvious questions of, "All of that seriously happened in ten minutes?!" and, "Where on earth did Kay get a helicopter from?!" But the Lang Zi tournament defied any and all reason in the known universe and so no one bothered to pass comment and instead awaited the return of Kay, Ema and Maggey so that they could be told who was to be the next one to give a Lang Zi Says.

And so the story continues!!

x~x~x~x~x

**Woooooooooaaaaaaaaaaah!!! This chapter is SERIOUSLY long!! I had no idea I could write so much or even _think _of so much stuff! One thing that you guys should probably know about my writing is that (to ensure maximum randomness) I just sit down and write. Yup, that's how I write. With no clue whatsoever about what's going to happen, I sit at my computer and just let the ideas come to me. I guess that isn't the best way to write anything but it's been working for me so far!! ^_^**

**So obviously I love to hear from you guys!! Let me know what you thought of this chapter, this fic, me, rabid squirrels or anything else that pops into your mind! PLEASE REVIEW!! Reviews are the things that keep me writing. The more reviews I get, the faster I'll sit back down at my computer and carry on the randomness!!  
So thank you so much for reading this fic everyone! Don't forget to review and I love you all!**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	5. Hotting Up

**Wow, chapter five already. I must say that this story is seriously highlighting how much I need to get help! ^_^  
I wanna say a huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far and I also wanna thank wolfdragon731 for a great Lang Zi Says idea! I laughed when I read it and thought _This would be SO good! _I've worked it into the story so I hope I pulled it off well *bows***  
**I OWN NOTHING! Stop making me say it, I get all depressed *sniffle*  
*WARNING*  
This chapter contains randomness, suggestiveness, rude stuff, yaoi (yay~) and some yuri (O.O I didn't even know I could write yuri...) and all that jazz (not literally) so... ENJOY!**

x~x~x~x~x**  
**

Chapter Five- Hotting Up

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 3.25 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

Once the helicopter had delivered Kay and the others and flown away, things started to flow again. Maggey and Ema went to sit on the loser's bench and Kay did a cute little hop onto the stage to continue her game. Reaching for her microphone, she launched back into her 'cheesy host' routine.

"We are down to the final five here at the Lang Zi Says tournament! It looks like the competition will get seriously heated now, as the final five are all very strong and determined people. We have: Miles Edgeworth, Shi-Long Lang, Franziska von Karma, Lana Skye and Rhoda Teneiro. The big question is: Who will be victorious? I can hardly wait! So let's set things in motion! Agent Lang, are you ready to give out a Lang Zi?"

Lang was more than ready, he was waiting for this. He hadn't been given the opportunity to give a Lang Zi until this moment and he couldn't wait to use it. He wanted to target his main rival in this: Miles Edgeworth. Throughout the course of the day, the two had been challenging each other, boasting that they would win. However, words are empty and Lang wanted to see just how far the prosecutor was willing to go to beat him.

The agent licked his lips and looked Miles straight in the eyes. "Miles Edgeworth, Pretty Boy..." he purred, causing Edgeworth to blush slightly. "I'm sorry about your cravat," the brunette said, sincerely. The silver haired man narrowed his eyes, _he's up to something...  
_"There's no need to get all suspicious. I really am sorry about the cravat thing. And so, to be fair I know how to resolve this issue. Lang Zi Says: Come and take your cravat back."

Miles was stunned for a bit. _So he's just gonna give it to me? But, I don't really want it if it's been down there...  
_But that was when the prosecutor understood what Lang was getting at: He literally wanted Miles to take his cravat back. _Absolutely NO WAY! He actually expects me to... He can't be serious!_

Lang studied the view he had in front of him and his eyes reflected a wanting. Miles was looking at him, confused and bright pink in the face. His mouth was slightly open but no sound came out. Lang smirked, this was certainly a look he hadn't seen on the prosecutor before and he wasn't about to deny the fact that he liked it very much. Ever since he first crossed paths with Miles, Lang was fascinated. He wasn't too keen on him at first, but as he grew to understand the silver haired one better... Well he didn't really understand how, but he felt a slight... _attraction_. Miles was good looking and knew how to fight his case (a trait that Lang loved). Another thing that drove him crazy was the way Miles acted in general. Not really the type to wear his feelings on his sleeve, the agent found himself trying to figure out who Miles Edgeworth really was.

Anticipating what Miles would do, Lang eagerly awaited the decision.

Miles found himself in a dilemma:  
He could go through with this Lang Zi Says  
He could refuse and drop out

On paper, he would have taken the second one in an instant. However, if he dropped out then:

a.) He would be at risk of becoming the champion's slave for a day  
b.) He would lose to Lang  
c.) He would never find out if Lang was just bluffing

If he really went through with it, Lang might suddenly recoil and say it was a joke, that he didn't actually think Miles would go through with it. Although, even if that didn't happen, it would only take a matter of seconds to retrieve the cravat, right?

And so, still slightly blushing, Miles started to move towards the agent.

Kay looked like she was about to explode (remember the yaoi fan thing?) and everyone else just stared in disbelief at what the prosecutor was about to do. There seemed to be a shared feeling of, "Bye Edgeworth! There's no way you'll go through with this, come take your seat on the LOSER'S bench!" But Miles seemed determined now, blocking everything out and deciding to get it over with.

Lang had an amused look on his face. _I knew it, he wouldn't wuss out at something like this. He'll fight to the end, I guess that's one of the things I find alluring about him..._

Once in front of the brunette, Miles took a deep breath and looked up into the eyes of the agent, trying to gauge what the other was thinking. When he looked, he saw... _Is that... longing? Or, desire? What the heck is going on here? Why would he even give such a weird Lang Zi in the first place? He can't possibly be onto me...  
_As this thought occurred to him, Miles blushed again. He thought he was keeping up his cool, can't-be-bothered look. The truth was, whenever Lang was around, the prosecutor got flustered. Terribly flustered, to the point where it was all he could do to _not_ to do something stupid. Miles wasn't exactly sure just what type of feelings he had for the Wolf, but he was pretty sure it wasn't normal. After all, he didn't really put up much of a fight about the cravat thing earlier and Miles just wanted to know _why. _However, his question would have to wait, as he had a task that he was intent on completing.

Taking another deep breath, Miles slowly raised his hand so it was hovering just above the waistband of the brunette's pants. He hesitated for a second. Lang was internally begging for Miles to just _do it_, although he kept up his usual cocky look. Deciding that now would be as good a time as any, Miles neatly slipped his hand into the others pants.

Taking a sharp intake of air, Lang couldn't stop his body from naturally reacting to the silver haired man's touch and arched his body slightly. The movement was subtle, but Miles noticed it. Looking up questioningly, he met the half-glazed, golden eyes of Shi-Long. Edgeworth was perplexed, he was sure that any man would be repulsed to be in this type of situation with another man, yet here he was with Agent Lang who seemed to be... _enjoying _it? Blushing at the thought, Miles did his best to grab an edge of his cravat.

_Damn, and here I thought I could just grab it from his waistband... _Moving his hand further down Miles finally felt the familiar silky texture that belonged to his cravat. He also felt something else, something that was becoming more and more apparent...  
Grabbing the cravat and pulling it free from the Wolf's pants, Miles took a step back. He was dizzy and couldn't believe he had actually just done that. His face was pretty much the same shade as his suit by this point.  
_I swear that I felt..._

Curiosity got the better of Edgeworth, and he couldn't help his eyes travelling down to a certain area. Lang caught this and made a low chuckling-growling sound.  
"Looks like I'm busted huh? Heh, well at least your cravat is back right?"  
Miles' eyes were as big as dinner plates. _I-I can't believe it! He actually has... I just gave him a... _

"Excuse me, Yatagarasu?" Lang was looking up at Kay on the stage who had just had a mini heart attack and was only just starting to recover.

"Y-yes?" Came the dreamy reply of the young thief.

"Seeing as you had a chopper hidden somewhere, I don't suppose you have a shower back there as well? I kinda need to... cool down."

"Why of course, step right this way!" Kay was back to her bouncy self now as she led the agent behind the stage.

Kay appeared again after a bit and said, "We'll start the next Lang Zi, I'm not sure how long Wolfy's gonna be!" She grinned and Edgeworth was still blushing. Those on the loser's bench and those still in the competition couldn't believe what had just happened. Although, maybe they could. After all, there had been evil squirrels, chocolate underwear, the most random chase ever... with all that had already happened that day, were they really surprised by the event that had just happened?

"Rhoda Teneiro is the next one to give out a Lang Zi. Hold nothing back okay? I wanna see stuff just as good as the last one!"

"Okay then. As a professional flight attendant, I feel that Lana Skye should have this Lang Zi. And so, Lang Zi Says: Steal Franziska's whip and show her what it feels like to be on the receiving end of it."

Lana looked at Franziska who was glaring back. "If you have a death wish, then please continue," she growled.  
But Lana simply stated, "You can let me complete my Lang Zi or you can resist. If you do resist however, you will be out of this competition and face 'belonging' to someone for a whole day. Do you think you could handle taking nothing but orders for a whole day? If so, then feel free to refuse."

The blue haired one realized that Lana had a point. Besides, she didn't look _too_ strong, so it wouldn't hurt all that much would it? Gumshoe took whip abuse everyday and he was still alive so she could surely take it.

After a long pause, Franziska let out a grudging, "Fine."

Throwing her whip to the floor, Lana walked neatly forward and picked it up. As soon as the whip was in her hands, Lana felt something. It was an incredible surge of power, a feeling of dominance, the feeling that she could and would conquer everything. The fact that a mere whip could make her feel this way was unbelievable. No wonder Franziska was so attached to it. With this new found urge to just... whip the crap outta something, Lana knew that she would enjoy this Lang Zi very much. What she was about to do would be justice to all those in the prosecutor's office who had fallen victim to Franziska and her whip. This would be the ultimate redemption for the young von Karma.

The prosecuting prodigy was slightly worried with the look Lana now had in her eyes. Her instincts were telling her to back off, but she couldn't otherwise she would be out.

Clenching her fists and gritting her teeth, the blue haired girl braced herself for what was about to come. Lana was busy trying to figure out the best way to use the whip, going over different moves in slow motion. Deciding that her instincts would take over, the brunette raised the whip above her head, about to launch the first strike. Franziska waited and...

...Lana brought the whip back down again.

"Oh for god's sake! Just do it, you foolish fool!" Franziska wanted this over with, but Lana was walking towards her now. She had a sinister grin on her face which gave the young prosecutor the chills. Once Lana was in reaching distance of the other, she untied her red scarf from around her neck and proceeded to tie it around Franzy's head, effectively blocking out her sight. _[A/N How the heck does giving Lana a whip make her go all BDSM?]_

"W-what the? Fool! You can't do that!"

"Oh contraire!" Came the bubbly voice of a certain thief. "I like the personal twist, it makes it more interesting! It's allowed, proceed!"

_Idiots! When I get my whip back I'll-_

*Lash*

"GAH!"

Franziska was pulled out of her vengeful thought pattern when a sharp pain went shooting up her side. It hurt like Hell! Franziska wasn't sure how _anyone_ could endure such a thing. And Lana was far from letting up the barrage of lashes she was currently releasing. Lana didn't know how or why, but it felt so _good!_ Unable to keep the strength in her legs, the prosecuting prodigy fell onto her knees. She could feel her eyes well up with tears but she had _way_ too much pride to let any of them fall.

While the pain and stinging continued, Franziska did her best to block it all out and think about her life (seeing as it felt like the end). _[A/N Dramatic much?] _More specifically, she started to think about _why _she even had a whip.

x~x~x~x~x

--Date: Years ago--  
--Time: Back in Time--  
--Place: von Karma Manor--

_"Miles Edgeworth! You overslept again! Wake up!"_

_Opening his eyes blearily, Miles did his best to focus on the girl in front of him. Did she seriously have nothing better to do than wake him up every single day and criticize his inability to wake up at 6:00 am on the dot? He didn't understand why he had to be up so early anyway. Sadly, he no longer had the luxury of a lie in. He now had to be 'perfect' when it came to his new adoptive family, and so that meant he had to get up at the 'perfect' time as well._

This was always the scene that played out every morning at the von Karma estate. Absolutely nothing could wake Miles up in the morning. Franziska tried everything when his alarm clock failed to budge him. She tried:

Clapping

Banging cymbals

Screaming in his ear

Jumping on him

Running around frantically and screaming "FIRE!"

But nothing seemed to work. That is, until one Christmas...

The blue haired girl would never admit this, but she loved Christmas. The way Christmas lights sparkled against the tree, that always smelled so beautiful (it was a real, PERFECT tree, no plastic for the vK's!) that she would lose herself in the magical festive spirit. She'd always gobble down mince pies and stay up the previous night to try and catch Santa. She would always go through dozens of Christmas Crackers a day (always fuming when she lost) and kept every trinket she received from them. Yes, Franziska von Karma loved Christmas, but before she could enjoy it she had to sort out her 'little brother.'

"Miles Edgeworth! You are still in that foolish sleeping pattern! Wake up at once!" She quietly tacked on at the end, "It's Christmas..."

The young boy stirred a bit and then a smile came to his face. It was Christmas. Like everything else with his new family, the Christmas's here were _perfect_.  
Miles knew how much this holiday meant to his adoptive sister, so he did his best to shake off any sleepy feelings and sat up in bed.

"Merry Christmas Franzy!" He beamed at her, while ruffling her hair.

"How many times have I told you not to call me by that foolish nickname, Miles Edgeworth?"

The silver haired boy just chuckled.

After a wonderful day where everything ran perfectly (naturally) it was finally time for the two children's favourite moment: opening the presents. Presents were always colour coded at the von Karma's:

Miles= red presents

Franziska= blue presents

Manfred= black presents

To be honest, this was the Christmas that would end up defining the two wannabe prosecutors because one of Edgeworth's presents was a cravat and one of Franziska's presents was a crop whip.

Miles had no idea how to wear a cravat and Franziska had no idea how to use a whip, but both of them soon made each item their own.

Plus, Franziska had a new way to wake her little brother up, and after a while he would be up and dressed for 6:00 am sharp. Her whip was magical!

It became a regular thing, Franziska getting a whip at Christmas. The type of whip would change each year. And so, even as her own whip was being used against her, Franziska realised that she could never stop using her whip: It was a part of her... That, and the moment she got it back she would make sure Lana Skye would cease to exist!

x~x~x~x~x

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 3.40 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

Finally, the whipping stopped. Lana had exhausted all the energy in her arms and could physically whip no longer. Franziska was sure that if she stripped down to her underwear (not that she would) then she would see red streak marks everywhere. When the blindfold was _finally _removed and the blue haired girl gained her sight again, she had to blink intensely at the sudden brightness. Once accustomed to the daylight again, she snatched her whip off Lana and growled in a very Lang-like fashion. Her body ached all over and she was going to make sure that the brunette payed dearly for reducing her body to its current weak state. It took all the effort in the world for the prosecutor to stay on her feet. She was sure she would collapse any minute.

Feeling slightly rejuvenated once she had her whip back, Franziska smacked it against the ground, getting back the glorious sensation of whipping something. Once she was content, she glared at Lana and began to aim her whip at her.

"Woah, woah, WOAH! STOP THAT!" Kay had the microphone to her mouth again and was busy barking out orders at the (now) possessed Franziska. A demon had taken control of her and she looked all set to tear Lana to pieces. "It's not fair to take out your anger on someone that was only following a Lang Zi! If you whip her, you're out!"

Franziska made a very scary sound and glared at Lana, however she wasn't going to make all she just went through mean nothing. Instead she leaped onto the stage and whipped the crap out of Gumshoe again (who had only just recovered from before).

It was during this that Lang came out from back stage with slightly damp hair. He had successfully "cooled down" and done some other stuff whilst in the shower, and was now ready to proceed with the game.

Lang and Franziska both got off the stage and stood next to the other competitors.

"So what'd I miss?" Asked Lang.

"Just Franziska getting what's been coming to her!" Maggey spat venomously, doing her best to help Gumshoe. Franzy simply glared at her with a look that said "Watch it cuz you'll be next!"

"Ok, we've had two Lang Zi's but no one has gone out yet! What did I say about these guys being strong competitors? Any who, the next person to give a Lang Zi Says is... Lana Skye!"

Another quick decision was made by the head district attorney. "Rhoda Teneiro, Lang Zi Says: Let Edgeworth eat your chocolate underwear."

"What? As a professional flight attendant... I'd like to keep my dignity!"

"Hah! Dignity? I thought you'd have figured out by now that everything goes in this game! Dignity no longer matters in this harsh game of Lang Zi Says." Lang put his hands in a prayer position as he made this statement sound deep and meaningful.

Rhoda seriously didn't want her chocolate underwear to be eaten. Edgeworth seriously didn't want to eat it. Sadly, according to Kay's stupid rule, he didn't have a choice in this type of situation.

The flight attendant made a quick decision then and made an announcement. "I refuse to let my chocolate underwear be eaten! They were a present from Cammy... You can't take them away from me!" And with that, she got up onto the stage and sat herself down on the loser's bench.

"Aw man! That was boring!" Groaned Kay. "And it was another interesting one too... Oh well, I guess it can't be helped. Miles Edgeworth gets to give the next Lang Zi so go for it!"

Miles actually had no idea what to give. He knew that Franziska HAD to go out; otherwise if she won he'd be screwed. So he knew he'd have to give the Lang Zi to her but he just couldn't think what. Then it hit him, it was kinda crappy, but it would at least make her squirm.

Edgeworth realized that recently, the blue haired prosecutor's skin had a much more... glowing look about it. _[A/N For those who don't know, this is supposed to mean that your sex life is going great! XD] _There was that, and the fact she was forever getting text messages from... someone...

He had been at the airport, coming to greet her, and all the way to her hotel (Miles was helping Franziska with her luggage) she kept getting a series of texts. When she saw who they were from, a slight blush came to her cheeks and she would smile. When Miles pressed about the issue however, she simply snapped at him to mind his own business. Anyway, seeing as he couldn't think of anything better, Miles said this: "Franziska von Karma. Lang Zi Says: Tell us who you are going out with."

"W-what kind of foolish Lang Zi is that?"

"Well, I could always change it to letting Lana whip you again..."

"No! That will not be necessary!" Franziska was sweating slightly; she clearly didn't want to undergo the process again.

"Well then," stated Edgeworth, "Tell us who it is."

"Why are you so sure that I am seeing someone, Miles Edgeworth?"

"Because you've been dodging the question for months now. Besides, if you weren't seeing someone then you would have whipped me and said something along the lines of, "You foolish fool, how could you think that someone as perfect as I would have a partner? No one can be my equal in perfection!" Right?"

Edgeworth (although he was right) still ended up getting a lash due to his "rudeness."

But that was all beside the point. Franziska still had yet to give away any details to do with her 'significant other.'

The two prosecutors ended up in a sort of Q&A routine:

M: So how long have you been dating?

F: Why is that important?

M: *sigh* Just answer the question

F: Almost two years if you really must know

M: N-no way! Seriously? Do I know him?

F: *slight grin* No, you don't know _him_...

M: *sceptical* So... You're actually going steady with someone?

F: Why is that so hard to believe? You're such a fool

etc. etc. etc.

Although Franziska answered the bulk of the questions, she never actually gave away the name of her lover which is what she had do do to complete the Lang Zi. And she knew this. The endless routine continued, with various people asking questions and trying to figure out who this mystery person was who had captivated the prosecutor who had once said, "Love and trifling feelings of the sort are all foolish!"

--Backstage--

Kay was busy jumping up and down with excitement. The thief was busily sorting out wires and explosives and all manner of other things that she didn't really know how to use. She had an amazing surprise for everyone. After making sure everything was set up, she bounced back onto the stage and interrupted the interrogation session that was currently underway.

--Random Field--

"Ladies and Gentlemen! I have an announcement! The Lang Zi Says Tournament is getting a small Jeremy Kyle makeover!"

Everyone was sharing the same thought: _Huh?_

"I happen to have a very special guest with me here today! Can you guess who it is?"

*blank stares, even a tumbleweed swept across the field from nowhere*

"You're all boring!" huffed Kay. "But anyway, the special mystery guest here with me today is... Drum roll please."

*drum roll*

"Franziska von Karma's partner!"

This made everyone go "Oooooooh" and "Ahhhhhhhhh" and the general chatter that was usually heard in the courtroom went rippling round. All were intrigued by what kind of man could possibly be in an intimate relationship with the whip obsessed maniac. He had to be some weirdo masochist, surely...

"Revealing-"

"HOLD IT!" Franziska went all courtroom drama. "Y-You can't possibly do that! How can you possibly know who it is anyway?"

"I am the Yatagarasu! You shouldn't underestimate me. I promise I'm not bluffing."

"You are foolish, I refuse to tell!"

"Well then you'll be out. Plus I'm sure your partner would be hurt, knowing that you don't want anyone to know about them..." Kay began.

"Gnrk! Fine! Proceed with this foolish charade..."

"Oh no. _You're _the one that has to introduce them. After all, your Lang Zi was to tell everyone who it was, remember?" Kay held out her mic and beckoned Franziska to come up onto the stage.

Reluctantly joining the thief on the stage, the blue haired girl snatched the mic and brought it to her lips. She paused for a second, before her stance become more powerful and she looked proud. She was about to introduce her lover, the person that meant everything to her. Other peoples 'foolish' opinions should be obsolete and so she would state the name and state it proudly.

"Introducing the person whom I have been with practically two years. The person who shall always come first, the one I love..."

This was the first time anyone had seen Franziska go all mushy, and although it scared them they couldn't help thinking _awwwwww, they must really be in love._

"My lover is... Adrian Andrews."

x~x~x~x~x

**And I shall leave it there! How will the group react to this? Will Franzy and Adrian pull through what everyone will think? What will the next Lang Zi's be? And will the man eating squirrel EVER return? Find out next time, on Lang Zi Says!**

**...I woulda ended it on the dramatic thing I put above but I had an idea. I was reading a manga (no surprise there) and I always love how there is usually an 'afterwards.' I was thinking of doing something like this for the very last chapter of this fic. Like an interview where we get back stage info, character reactions etc.  
So if you think this is a good idea, please let me know and I'll consider it. Also, please leave a question for one of the characters (or me! ^_^) that could be answered in the interview. I'll mention who the question is from and stuff so... yeah! I thought it would be kinda fun...**

**So let me know what you think about it! And review! And leave questions for the (possible) interview! And give a randomer a hug! (why not?)  
Thank you all! ^_^**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	6. A Relationship Resolve and A Challenge

**Fear not readers, for I am alive! It has been quite a while since I updated, but the reasons for that are:  
a.) I was ill  
b.) I was busy with school stuff  
c.) I was writing another fic... ^.^"  
But now I am back and I hope you enjoy this next chapter of randomness.  
Contains: I don't even know anymore... this fic contains EVERYTHING!**  
**I think we all know that I do NOT own the Ace Attorney series. Just think about how (awesomely) messed up it would be if I did! XP**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Six- A Relationship Resolve and A Challenge

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 3.40 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

"My lover is... Adrian Andrews."

As Franziska said this, Kay pushed a random button that seemed to have materialized from absolutely nowhere. This triggered a chain of explosions, fireworks and many other things that created an amazing (but deadly) display. This was what Kay had been busy rigging up backstage a few moments previous. A new figure was becoming visible on the stage. The smoke from the display only made it possible for the new person's silhouette to be seen, but it was obvious that it would be Adrian.

Everyone was still coming to terms with the fact that Franziska was dating a _woman_, but they had plenty of time to adjust to this fact because the smoke was still lingering and obscuring the figure.

Miles noticed that Kay had a confused and mortified expression on her face.

"Kay, what's wrong?" Asked the prosecutor.

A reply of, "Mr. Edgeworth... I think I've made a terrible mistake..." came as the smoke finally cleared to reveal...

Larry Butz.

"Hello everyone!" Came the cheerful voice of Larry.

"N-ngh! Larry! What are you doing here?"

"Oh Edgey! I never thought that _you'd _be here! It's been a while huh?"

"Not long enough," was the cold reply given.

"HEY! WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?"

The usual routine started playing between the two old friends before Lana deigned to break it up and ask where Adrian was.

"Who?" Asked the Butz. "I'm Larry, not Adrian."

Franziska hadn't said anything this whole time. She couldn't comprehend what was going on anymore. _Where's Adrian?_

Everything was soon made clear thanks to Kay. Grabbing everyone's attention, she started to make an announcement.  
"Sooooooo... funny story! When I said that I had Franziska's lover with me, I meant this guy! But let me explain why I thought what I did! When I saw those two together back on the Manny case, they seemed to get along really well. I mean, he called her Franzy and still adored her despite getting whipped. Plus the other day I saw a book called _'Franzy's Whiplash Splash' _and the picture of the author looked like Larry. When I asked him about it, he said that they were close and Franziska willingly posed for the pictures and stuff so I just assumed... I guess even the Yatagarasu can make mistakes right?"

This was when Franziska became animate again. She glared daggers at the Butz and slowly started edging towards him, whip at the ready.

"How foolish of _anyone_ to think that I would date this man! How dare you tell people that we are 'close?' And I never gave any sort of authority for that stupid book of yours to be published. I demand that you tell me, in ten words or less, why I shouldn't whip you senseless for making a mockery out of me!"

Larry was clearly terrified. He stuttered to find the words that would save him.

"W-well... Franzy, we _are _close. And I was so happy when Kay thought that we were a couple that-"

"You're way over ten words! And that excuse is pathetic!"

Words cannot describe how scary the young girl looked at this moment, and the atmosphere would creep _any_one out. Maggey, knowing that she had to save the annoying man, said something that made Franziska stop in her tracks. She also said it to get back at the prosecutor for hurting Gumshoe. She giggled slightly before saying, "You've just admitted that you are going out with a woman when there was absolutely no need to at all. You fell for an amazing bluff and will doubtlessly feel ridiculous. Some prosecuting prodigy you are, coming out in front of all these people when you _could_ have gotten away with a lie!"

This stopped the inevitable attack from hitting Larry as Franziska froze.

_The fool is right. I've just told everyone that I'm a lesbian thinking that Adrian was here when really that foolish Yatagarasu had the completely wrong person. How can I possibly face the shame? We agreed that there was no need for me to tell anyone..._

x~x~x~x~x

--Date: 2 Years Ago, April--  
--Time: 8.00 pm--  
--Adrian's Apartment--

"U-um... If you're that unhappy about it, then we don't have to tell anyone..."

"I'm not unhappy about it. I just think that people can be foolishly closed-minded about this sort of thing so... That is why we should keep it a secret."

"Right," Adrian looked down at the floor, a look of slight disappointment on her face.

"You're upset about it aren't you?"

"N-no! I'm happy with the way things are now..." Adrian wasn't a convincing liar.

"Don't lie to me. Look, I know you want to tell people about us, but I..."

There was a brief silence before the blonde said in a small voice, "Is it me? Are you... ashamed, because of me?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous!" Franziska spun her girlfriend around so that she was facing her. "I am _not _ashamed of you; please don't _ever_ say anything like that again! I just think that people are foolish, and so telling them would be useless."

"Oh, I see..." Adrian hugged the other, hoping that that was the truth. She wouldn't know how to stand it if it was her fault Franziska was apprehensive about telling people about them. Maybe one day, the blue haired one would tell her friends, but Adrian wouldn't urge her to do it. Not because she was scared of asking, but because she wanted her new partner to make the decision on her own and not be forced to tell...

x~x~x~x~x

--Date: Saturday, May--  
--Time: 3.40 pm--  
--Place: Random Field--

_I guess I would have to have told someone eventually... How long was I planning on putting it off? Adrian never mentioned it after that day, but... I know she wants people to know about us. And... so do I! So what if announcing it was a mistake, I don't regret it at all!_

And that is exactly what Franziska said. She stunned Maggey with her words, although the ex-cop couldn't help but feel a _bit_ of respect at her loyalty.

Then, Kay let out a small giggle. "Finally! You let your true feelings out, now don't you feel so much better? That's it, go and have a romantic dinner with Adrian this instant!"

Pushing yet _another _random button (where the heck do they keep coming from?) Kay sang "Ta Da~!" and suddenly Adrian was in the middle of the stage.

This was getting ridiculous, Kay seemed to have the ability to make anything and everything appear and disappear like that. However, Kay had 'borrowed' Thalassa's bracelets so that she would be told how to do this trick. She really _would _return them at some point...

But anyway, as Adrian made her way to her girlfriend's side, Kay called upon the helicopter once more. She wished the two luck on their date that night and everything seemed wonderful until Adrian said, "But... Won't you risk being someone's slave for a day if you drop out. I don't mind waiting if-"

"-No. I want to go with you. After all, I'm you're slave Adrian..." _[A/N Okay, that MAJORLY cheesy line came from my friend L so... yeah! Just so we're clear on that point...]_

The blonde blushed slightly and before long at all, the two were flying off into the distance...

"So are we actually going to return to the game anytime soon, or are we just gonna focus on relationships now?" Came Lang's sarcastic voice. He had grown weary with the lovey-dovey stuff and wanted to get back to the action!

"Ummm... What am I still doing here anyway?" Asked Larry. That was a good question. Seeing as there really was no need for him to be there anymore, they told him that he could go. However, the Butz didn't want to. Luckily, Edgeworth had an idea that sent the bane of his life running off into the distance; the evil squirrel really was handy when it came to removing annoying people...

"Ahem!" Kay leaped back onto the stage and motioned the remaining competitors to get back into position. "Well, we seemed to have detoured a little from Lang Zi Says so let's get back on track okay? Sorry Wolfie, looks like you'll have to save you're dramatic love confession to Mr. Edgeworth for another time! I think we're all sick of relationships at the moment!"

"What? Just what are you trying to say?" Questioned Lang, narrowing his eyes at the young thief. "You have no proof that I have romantic feelings for Pretty Boy over there."

"Well... I could always check the camera footage from your shower... Oh, I wasn't being a pervert! It's just that I borrowed this stage from the Gavinners and Klavier thinks up the best songs when he's in the shower so he records himself in case he comes up with a potential hit."

Lang growled and even _blushed _slightly.

Miles was amazed; he had never seen Lang blush before. He didn't think the agent _could _blush. Having a very 'completely innocent uke' moment, the silver haired one asked, "Why are you blushing? What were you doing that was so bad in the shower?"

Edgeworth was just about to figure it out when Kay interrupted his train of thought, continuing on with her game. The prosecutor decided to drop it, deciding it probably wasn't relevant anyway and why would he want to think about Lang in the shower?

"Because I feel like it, _I _am going to give the next Lang Zi! I've decided that it should go to Wolfie."

"Alright!" Lang wanted a challenge and he was raring to go.

"So I was wondering," began Kay, "which was stronger: A Tiger or a Wolf. Which do you thing, Agent Lang?"

"The wolf of course! A wolf will always prevail."

"I thought you might say that, and so I'd like to test out that theory. Shi-Long Lang, Lang Zi Says: Fight the Tiger I have contained within this metal cage!" She pointed to an area of the field about ten metres away from them and everyone wondered _when_ the fighting ring had been placed there. Beside the ring was a cage containing...

Not a tiger.

It looked like there was a severely sun-burnt man inside the cage as his skin was completely red. His hair style reminded Miles a bit of a certain defence attorney...

"How's you's doin'? The name's Furio Tigre and I ain't planning on losing to some Wolf!" Following this sentence he let out a terrifying roar, which convinced the group that this guy was _not _to be messed with.

_How did Kay get him inside a CAGE? _Pondered Edgeworth, but could come up with no idea whatsoever.

Lang wasn't put off by the intimidating red man, calling out a cocky "Bring it on! This Wolf will never lose to a Tiger!"

x~x~x~x~x

**And I shall end it here because I am evil! ^_^  
Sooooo... you wanna read the next chapter right? Because it will contain the most epic clash between wolves and tigers the likes of which the world has never seen before! Plus, there will be a shirtless Lang (cuz you get hot when you fight) so we'll have to see what Edgey's reaction will be!**

**Please review because I lurve them sooooo much! They make me so happy :3 And also, leave questions for the final interview chapter. I have a few but I would like more please! The questions can be for any character(s) you want or it could even be one for me so... yeah! Thank you for reading my fic! ~^_^~**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx **


	7. Cheap Shots

**Uwah! I have been bogged down studying for end-of-year exams and I am DRAINED! I should be doing revision now but my severe case of CBA syndrome has forced me to abandon the books and write the next chapter! So that means good news for you readers and bad news for my exam results... Oh well!**

**Disclaimer: For those of you who think that I own this series after reading these previous chapters, you need more help than I do! :P  
WARNING: Contains... Well... ya know... this and that and some other stuff... Ya know what I'm saying?**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Seven- Cheap Shots

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 3.50 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

"Bring it on! This Wolf will never lose to a Tiger!"

As he said this, Shi-Long Lang made his way over to the fighting ring that had mysteriously appeared from the ether while Kay released Tigre from his confines.

Once both men had entered the ring, giving hardened glares and deep growls at each other, Kay decided to do what she had been doing throughout most of the day's weird events and narrate what was going on. Although, she seemed to be more like a referee in this instance.

Back on the stage, she announced the rules speaking very clearly through the mic so that people would _not _have any trouble understanding.

"The rules are simple, now listen very carefully... There are no rules! Everything goes in this fight so use whatever tactics you want, just WIN!"

Judging by the manner in which this day had been developing, leaving the rules open was probably not the best idea. However when Miles attempted to point out that things could get dangerous, he was simply met by Kay shoving the first page of that stupid rulebook in his face... again!

Sighing and deciding that if Lang lost then he'd only have to face Lana, the prosecutor dropped the matter.

"In the red corner, weighing in at... ummm... Wolfie, what do you weigh?"

Kay never got an answer as Lang was far too busy focusing on his opponent and thinking up ways to take him down. Figuring that weight wasn't _too _important she proceeded to announce that Tigre was in the blue corner (well... DUH!) and that the fight could begin.

Both men had been having a stare contest, but as soon as they heard Kay shout, "BEGIN!" they both sprang into action.

Lang, being a renowned Interpol Agent, was well trained in hand-to-hand combat.  
Tigre, being the shady guy he was, didn't have the professional training his opponent had but he had his own, rough street style that was not to be messed with.

Seeing as Kay had decided that no rules applied, that meant there was also no time limit and so no rounds. It would be survival of the fittest, last man standing.

Tigre made the first move, launching himself at Lang and managing to land a hard punch on his right shoulder. The brunette was taken aback; he didn't expect Furio to be so fast. However he quickly shook it off and regained composure. _A wolf can be just as fast as a tiger, if not faster! I refuse to lose this fight!_

Letting out a low growl, Lang clenched his fist and flew at his opponent. Thinking he knew the move coming up, Tigre dodged the swing that was taken at him. Unfortunately, this was all part of a well constructed plan and as he dodged the agent ducked down and neatly kicked Don's feet up from under him.

Finding himself on the floor all of a sudden, the Tiger looked up to see the Wolf smirking at him. _You's gotta be kiddin' me! Some punk-ass wolf thinks he's gonna beat ME?  
_Doing one of those _really _cool Jackie Chan flippy things (you know, where you're on the floor and you sorta spring up) Furio started to unleash a barrage of attacks that quickly had Shi-Long on the defensive.

"It looks like our Tiger currently has the upper hand!" Called Kay excitedly, "But it certainly is way too early to tell who will win this fight!"

_Damn right it is! _Thought Lang as he caught Tigre's wrist as said person was aiming a punch. Now that he had wrist control, the agent quickly span around and ended up behind the spiky haired man with the wrist still firmly in his grasp.

Furio let out a roar as Lang proceeded to put extreme pressure on his wrist. The more he struggled, the worse the pain got. _Damn this guy and his stupid body locks!  
_The Wolf couldn't help but let out a low chuckle, which didn't go down well with his rival.

"WHY YOU'S!"  
Somehow managing to thrust his head back into a semi-powerful head butt, he managed to catch the agent off guard and escape from the excruciating position he had been in. Jumping back and cradling his wrist, attempting to get feeling back into it, Lang was busy discarding his jacket.

_So much for me thinking that would finish him off, I'm actually starting to break a sweat. Heh, it's been a long time since I've had a proper challenge. _Throwing the jacket out of the ring, the cocky brunette motioned for the Tiger to come and give him his best shot. The other was not about to disappoint.

The two clashed in the middle, no one really having the advantage at any time. They were extremely evenly matched.

"The Tiger throws a punch and it is neatly blocked by Wolfie who is retaliating with a high kick which is dodged! Wow ladies and gentlemen, this really is a tough fight to call. Look at the two of them go!" Kay was busy bounding about the stage and thought she'd get some thoughts from the 'audience.' Making her way over to the Loser's Bench, she asked Meekins what he thought of the action.

"T-this little man is scared sir..." He spoke out quietly. It really was quite scary watching the two go at it, roaring and growling and giving out extremely powerful attacks.  
Kay moved onto ask Ema a question. "Do you think you can determine the outcome of this match?"  
"Well... Scientifically speaking, it would be impossible to call. Both are evenly matched and so it all depends on who has more stamina."

Back in the ring, the two fighters were still trading hits and Tigre decided to try a combo attack. He aimed a kick at the others head (which was blocked, but that was the plan) and then he quickly brought his hand up, creating a very fast slice-uppercut move. Had this attack hit, Lang would have been in trouble. Luckily, thanks to his quick reactions, the Wolf managed to hop back to avoid the hit making contact with his body. However, that doesn't mean that the attack missed altogether.

Furio's attack caught at the bottom of Shi-Long's shirt and, due to the sheer force behind the move, ended up being sacrificed. The shirt was cut in two, and as the agent attempted to block the attacks now coming his way (Tigre had just gained the upper hand) he found that it was getting in the way. Deciding he'd fare much better without it, the shirt found its way out of the ring and joined the jacket.

For a moment, the fight temporarily stopped. This was because, no matter _who _you are, you couldn't help but stare at Lang in this current state. His torso now exposed, you could see just what amazing form the agent's body was in. Tan skin shimmering in the sun, the sweat adding to the effect to make him look even more impressive. He was well toned (obviously) and you could see the definition of his muscles. This guy was sexy, and what made him sexier is that he seemed to know this fact. He was brimming with confidence and was dying to continue the fight. It had been a long time since anyone had given him such an impressive challenge and Shi-Long was trembling with anticipation.

Resuming the fight after the brief pause in which everyone was busy ogling Lang, ridiculously strong hits were being traded once more. If we were to break up the stats and see who excelled better in which area, then it would look something like this:

Power- Equal  
Endurance- Lang  
Speed- Tigre  
Defence- Equal  
Reaction Time- Lang  
Reading Moves- Tigre

The differences in their abilities were so small though, that it really did seem like there wouldn't be a winner. Coming back to reality for a second, Lang realized that if he lost then he was out of the Lang Zi Says Tournament and then risked being someones slave for a day. As much fun as he was having during this encounter, he knew that he had to end it soon. This was when Kay's words popped into his head:

_"There are no rules! Everything goes in this fight so use whatever tactics you want, just WIN!"_

And so, regretting to use such a low method to win and promising himself he would challenge Furio to a fair fight in the near future, Lang put his master plan into action.  
The two were stuck in the middle of a fierce wrestling match when suddenly Lang jumped back, a look of absolute horror on his face.

"OH DEAR GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

Falling for it, Tigre faltered and spun around quickly to see what had terrified his opponent. As soon as his back was turned he knew that he had made a terrible mistake. In a matter of seconds, Lang had grabbed him, wrestled him to that floor and had him pinned down.

"3... 2... 1... AND WE HAVE A WINNER! Congratulations Wolfie, you are the victor!"

Kay dashed into the ring to hold Lang's hand up in a winners-like fashion as Furio was busy roaring his head off, still on the floor.

Once he was back on his feet he venomously said, "This is _not _the end! One day I'll challenge you to a fight and I'll expect you to fight it properly!"

"And I promise I will. Thank you for the great match and I thoroughly intend to have a fair fight with you soon." The agent's hands were in their prayer position, meaning that he was honest about wanting to have a fight where dirty tactics wouldn't have to be employed.

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 4.20 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

Once things had calmed down a bit and Furio had gone off to (probably) con some people, Lana quickly asked if she could have the next Lang Zi.

"Sure," said Kay as she made the fighting ring disappear into thin air (courtesy of Troupe Gramarye). "Go ahead, Lang Zi away."

Lana had a wicked grin on her face and had her Lang Zi all set up. "Miles Edgeworth. Lang Zi Says: Tell us why are you currently blushing and staring at Agent Lang."

That was evil, but it was true. Ever since Lang went shirtless, the prosecutor couldn't help but stare. Once Lana had pointed this out, the agent turned to Miles and saw that he really was staring at him and really was blushing. A smirk came to his face and he winked at the silver haired one, making the latter blush even deeper.

"W-What kind of stupid Lang Zi is that?"

"The kind of Lang Zi you seem to be reluctant to complete," replied Lana who was smiling sweetly despite the fact that she was being harsh on poor Edgeworth.

"N-Ngh! Well I... I..."

"C'mon Mr. Edgeworth! All you have to do is tell us one simple thing, and make sure you don't lie because we'll be able to tell if you do!" The thief produced Little Thief as a reminder and the prosecutor found himself backed into a corner.

_I can't lie because they will know about it and then I'll be out and then I could be someone's slave for a day! Although... Franziska is out so maybe I won't be picked... But I bet Agent Lang would love to take advantage of the situation if he won, damn! That means I can't just take myself out either. So, I have to tell the truth..._

"Hurry up Edgeworth, don't make me induce a time limit," pestered the Chief Persecutor.

"W-Well... I just thought that Agent Lang is in good shape..." _Now please don't push for details!_

"That's not good enough Edgeworth. I want to know the _full_ reason you're staring and blushing. It can't simply be because you think he's 'in good shape,'" pushed the brunette.

_Dammit! This really isn't good! _Miles looked up at Lang who was looking at him with curiosity in his eyes. _Urgh... I'll just have to get it over with!_

"I thought that he looked... looks... well, err..."

"Go on," this time it was Kay who was looking for the details.

"...Kinda hot..." The prosecutor mumbled this so no one actually heard it apart from Lana who requested that he repeat himself.

"Why? You heard what I just said!" Argued the silver haired man.

"I didn't," said Lang, "And I want to."

Flushing to the colour of his suit, Edgeworth spoke up and said, "I said that you look hot okay! But I... That means nothing! It's just an opinion!"

Miles had completely lost his composure and was failing at justifying his reasons for thinking Lang was hot.  
_Well it's true! He is! It's not like I'm the only one thinking it, but then again... I guess I shouldn't be thinking this way because I'm a guy and so his he... GAH! What does all this mean anyway? I think he looks hot, I stuck my hand down his pants earlier (against my own will, although I wasn't as opposed to it as I should have been) and I blush and lose my calm when he's around! This is the absolute worst, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?_

Lang was surprised at that sudden outburst by Miles, but he was more than glad it had happened. _So... He thinks I look hot huh? Maybe this could go somewhere... _The Wolf let his mind slip to very naughty things as Edgeworth glared at Lana who was simply smiling back.

"I'm having the next Lang Zi!" He exclaimed.

Kay gave him permission and Edgeworth's signature smirk appeared on his face. He was getting Lana back!

"Lana Skye. Lang Zi Says: Tell us what was _really _going on while you were whipping Franziska."

"What are you on about?"

"As soon as you felt that whip in your hands and as soon as you started whipping her... There's no way you can say 'I was only giving her what she deserved' when you were clearly turned on!"

"W-What? Objection! I was not turned on!"

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

Everyone looked at Kay who had her mouth open in shock as Little Thief was giving off the signal that meant someone was lying.

"Ms. Skye... You actually were... Pfft... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Yatagarasu burst into laughter and started rolling about the stage. "That was a cheap shot Mr. Edgeworth!"

"So what? She started it!" Miles said childishly.

"Oh dear," said Kay, recovering from her laughing fit and wiping the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry Lana, but you know the rules. You lied so..."

"I can't believe this!" Lana glared at Edgeworth who smiled back (how ironic) and she went and stomped over to the stage and onto the Loser's Bench.

"And with that, it looks like we have our final everyone!" Kay announced excitedly. "We have two strong competitors: Miles Edgeworth and Shi-Long Lang! Who will be the winner of the first ever Lang Zi Says Tournament? I can hardly wait to find out, so let's get ready for the final showdown!"

x~x~x~x~x

**WAHOOOO! The final! Now I get to put these two in even more embarrassing situations! I can't believe I'm nearing the end of this fic, I love it sooo much!****  
****The next chapter will be the final chapter in which you could suggest any Lang Zi's you want to happen so if you have an idea, tell me! Also, don't forget that I'd still like your questions for the interview chapter. Questions can be for characters or me so ask away!**  
**Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for reading my story. Don't forget to review; I need something to cheer me up while I'm suffering with revision! XP**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	8. The Final, Part One

**Exams are over! Now I can continue with Lang Zi Says! Wow, the final. I'm sorry it took longer to update (exams :P) but I hope everyone likes this chapter. I would also like to thank you guys for so many great ideas for the Lang and Edgeworth Lang Zi's. It's the last chapter(s) so I thought I'd do my best to use them all. By the way, you may have noticed the 'part one' in the chapter title. Well I did originally plan to get it all done in one chapter, but it kinda got away from me and turned into a novel but I promise to update extremely soon as I'm now on my Summer Holidays and therefore have loads of free time :3**

**Review Replies:**

**MattsyKunTEPHA- I am a HUGE GH fan and so yes, I LOVE that idea! :P I also like the others a lot and so I hope you like how I used them :3**

**Lacrimosa Lolita- Your idea was great but I really wanna keep this a LangxEdgey fic. But guess what? I am actually planning a story where Phoenix and Lang both want Edgeworth (kinda like a love triangle?) and so I hope that you'll read it when I start posting it (which will probably be after I finish this fic. It's called Fujimori High). **

**TheMentalHyuuga- Don't worry, I plan to! XD**

**Note: If the suggestion wasn't used in part one then it will in part two!**

**WARNING: *sigh* I think you all know what this contains and the mental issues you may get from reading this fic :P  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, HOWEVER! That's not stopping me from plotting a way to own Ace Attorney *evil grin***

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Eight- The Final, Part One

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 4.45 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

"We have two strong competitors: Miles Edgeworth and Shi-Long Lang! Who will be the winner of the first ever Lang Zi Says Tournament? I can hardly wait to find out, so let's get ready for the final showdown!"  
Kay was busy _cartwheeling_ along the stage and marveling at the fact that her game had lasted this long. In all honesty, she thought that Miles would have given up at the very beginning and everyone else would do something similar, but for some unknown reason everyone continued to stick around and fight it out. Not that she was complaining, after this year she was bursting with ideas for next year...

But next year's tournament aside, they were currently in the final of this one. As the Yatagarasu was about to do her usual enthusiastic announcement as to who would get the next Lang Zi, she was interrupted and forgot all about it when a very interesting conversation began between the two finalists.

"So, pretty boy," smirked Lang, "You think I'm hot?"

Edgeworth's response was to cough and look at the ground, suppressing the blush that was attempting to take over. He had a huge urge to fight his case and state _why _he thought that, but he could never justify it and he would also end up sounding like a little kid. This, of course, was not acceptable as Miles Edgeworth is a refined gentleman.

Lang was having fun teasing the prosecutor and Kay felt slightly sorry for him, and so she decided to intervene with the next Lang Zi and maybe even turn the tables.

Clearing her throat to gain attention, she smiled as she said, "Shi-Long Lang. Lang Zi Says: Why do you call Mr. Edgeworth 'pretty boy?'"

This caused great interest around the Loser's Bench and Miles looked up with slight curiosity in his eyes now that he had regained his composure.

"It's a nickname I give to him," Lang said simply, but Kay refused to accept that as a valid answer.

"It's not just a nickname! Tell me the _real _reason! Come on, Mr. Edgeworth did it so now it's your turn!"

Lang let out a low growl. He had to think things through methodically because one foot wrong now could lose him the tournament or his pride.

_Grrrr... I've made it THIS far and as soon as I have a chance to beat pretty bo- PROSECUTOR EDGEWORTH, I get this kind of Lang Zi? I can't lie cuz the Yatagarasu has a lie detector. If I told him the truth then it wouldn't really matter would it? He did have the guts to say that he thought I looked hot after all. Plus I think he may have twigged what was going on by the reaction I had to his touch from that Lang Zi earlier..._  
_Ah, to hell with it! After all, Lang Zi Says: A wolf that can overcome the pack's consensus is one to be revered. _[A/N Yeah... Well we had to actually have a _real_ Lang Zi type quote at _some _point :P]

"If you really must know," Lang said attempting to keep his cool, "Mr. Prosecutor is quite remarkable in looks. I thought I'd give him a name to show that I acknowledge that fact."

"Soooooooo... you think he's hot?" Asked Kay who wanted a straight answer as opposed to Wolfie's meaningful nonsense.

"Grrr... Yes okay! Now that we have this little issue out of the way, can we continue on with the damn tournament?"

Obviously this was a stupid request.

Edgeworth was trying to comprehend what he had just heard and Kay was busy running up and down singing, "True love~! True love~! They both think the other's hot, KYAAAAAAAA~~!"

The agent and the prosecutor immediately defended their positions by insisting that they were, "Merely acknowledging the fact that the other had pretty good looks and that it didn't mean _anything._"

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuure," said Kay in a very yeah-right-you-guys-totally-have-the-hots-for-each-other voice, you know the one.

"Kay, I am only going to repeat myself once more so please listen: Romance wise, there is _nothing_ going on between Agent Lang and I. And before you get any weird ideas, there won't be _anything_ between us in the future."

"Okay then," said Kay very matter-o-factly, "If you are so adamant that nothing will ever happen romantically, then you won't mind going for a stroll holding hands would you?"

"Kay, how on earth does what I just said equate to me not minding holding hands with another man _in public?_"

"Well it's just, you seemed so sure that nothing was going on between you two, so then this Lang Zi _should _be easy. Oh, I'd better make it official. For both of the finalists. Lang Zi Says: Walk around the town holding hands. And you can't tell people it's a Lang Zi!"

As usual Lang was ready for anything and had his signature smirk on, signaling that there was no way he was backing down.  
After coming so far, Miles refused to back down either and so nodded, showing that he accepted the Lang Zi. During this, his face held no emotion. As far as he was concerned now, this was a competition that he _would not _lose. And so he locked his emotions away like he was so used to doing and refused to let a blush, weird affectionate emotions or anything else factor into the equation.

Shocked that the two had actually agreed to the Lang Zi (none of them seemed to have realised that if they both refused then they wouldn't be out as there would be no one to win) she hurriedly sent them on their way.

"Ok, you have to walk all over the town holding hands okay?" The young thief called after the finalists who were now hand in hand. "And remember, I'll know if you cheat!"  
The two men turned round to see what their delusional host was on about and then saw the big screen that covered the back of the stage and everyone on the Loser's Bench watching intently.

_Of course, _thought Miles, _The screen we watched the Maggey and Ema Lang Zi on. And she managed to capture all over town... So much for my great idea of letting go once we were out of the field..._

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 5.00 pm-  
-Place: The Town-

Miles couldn't help his heart beat racing. After all, he was holding _Lang's_ hand. The prosecutor knew that he had strange feelings for the agent and only now was he beginning to understand what those feelings were. Love was definitely one of them. Wondering if his companion was feeling the same way, Miles glanced up at the slightly taller man. He ended up looking straight into hazel eyes and the silver haired one realised that Lang had been staring at him in a way that would be best described as... adoring.

"Lang," whispered the prosecutor, a blush coming to his cheeks.  
"Miles." The brunette pulled the other closer, not for a second caring where they were anymore; it was just the two of them.

Gazing into each others eyes for a moment longer, Lang decided that he couldn't control himself any longer and started to move forward, bringing his lips closer to Edgeworth's until...

Ha! Yeah right! Like that would actually happen, just wanted to mess with ya! XD No, this is what was _actually _happening:

_How did I let Kay put me in such an utterly humiliating situation? This is ridiculous!_

Miles Edgeworth was walking through the town, holding onto Lang's hand and feeling like a complete idiot. They kept getting strange looks from people which started to tint Edgeworth's cheeks with embarrassment and anger. The two were standing as far away from each other as was allowed keeping in mind they had to keep holding hands. There probably hasn't been a more awkward situation ever.

_I bet Kay and the others can see all of this... Damn! Well, I guess I should be thankful that I haven't run into anybody that I kno-_

"Mr. Edgeworth! Is that you? It's been _ages!_"

_Scratch that..._

Desperately wanting to run away and drag Lang along with him if necessary, Edgeworth was getting ready to sprint in the opposite direction of the familiar voice. This is where the agent sensed an opportunity.

_Pretty boy wants to run... And that person knows him so that means if I make him stay, he'll let go of my hand and I'll win! Then he'll be mine for the day... *mischievous grin*_

Not giving the prosecutor a chance to make a break for it, Lang turned them around so that they were facing... two very strange looking girls that he had never seen before.

He looked down at his silver haired companion who was now white as a sheet. He clearly recognized them.

The two girls seemed oblivious to the fact that the two men in front of them were holding hands and the older girl was smiling cheerily at Miles.

"Fancy bumping into you here! I didn't know you were back in the country Mr. Edgeworth or I'd have come to say hi a while ago. Oh hey! Why don't you come and get some burgers with Pearly and me?"

"That's quite all right Maya," Edgeworth said as calmly as he could given situation. He subtly edged closer to Lang so that he could hide the fact they were holding hands.

"Oh Nick will be upset that he missed you! You want me to give him a call-"

"NO! Err.. I mean... There's no need for that. Wright and I can catch up some other time."

"Well if you say so... By the way," the young spirit medium turned to face the brunette, "Who's this?"

"I'm Shi-Long Lang, nice to meet you." The agent extended his free hand so that he could shake Maya's outstretched one.

While Maya was happily chatting to Miles and even Lang, Pearl had been very quiet until she said, "You're holding hands."

"What?" asked Maya and looked at the two men in front of her more closely.

"Oh hey! You're right Pearly! Wait... Why are you-"

"It's a long story," sighed Edgeworth. Just as he was about to launch into an explanation of the Lang Zi Says tournament, he remembered that he wasn't allowed or he'd lose. _But if I don't say anything then she'll get the wrong idea!_

And that is _exactly _what the wolf picked up on. He knew Edgeworth couldn't tell the truth or he'd be out. He knew that Edgeworth couldn't let go of his hand or he'd be out. So now was the perfect time to push the prosecutor to his limits and see how far he could take this. Maybe he'd even have a win in a matter of minutes.

"Well... I have time!" Beamed Maya, suddenly curious as to why Mr. Edgeworth would be holding hands with someone.

"Well... You see, I can't exactly-"

"Oh Miles, you don't have to be so shy anytime someone asks about it!" said Lang as he pulled Miles even closer to him.

_Miles? Since when did Agent Lang call me Miles?_

"Maya was it? Well yes, he's right when he says it's a long story. Basically we met on an investigation case. I couldn't help but be intrigued by this prosecutor," he said affectionately, ruffling his partner's hair.

"A-Agent Lang! What are you doing?"

"I'm just telling her about _us, _pretty boy," smiled the agent, feigning innocence.

"What '_us' _are you referring to?"

"You always get so shy in front of others... but then again that's one of the many things I _love _about you." The wolf murmured this in the silver haired one's ear, although it was loud enough for Maya and Pearl to hear. Poor Miles didn't have a clue what was going on and was in a state of utter confusion. When the agent said those words in a low, husky voice he couldn't help his well suppressed blush from surfacing.

Maya couldn't believe what was going on. "So... You and Mr. Edgeworth are..."

"It's yaoi!" Pearl exclaimed joyfully. "I thought it only happened in manga but Mr. Edgeworth and Mr. Agent are like a yaoi couple!" The bubbly spirit medium seemed to sparkle and she brought her hands up to her face as she dreamily said, "Mr. Edgeworth has found his Special Someone!"

"P-Pearly, where did you learn about yaoi?" Asked Maya uneasily.

"Oh, it was this really nice girl called Kyo and-"

*Enters from nowhere in particular* "I have NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! Ahem... Sorry, continue..." *Leaves just as randomly*

"Miss. Fey, there is _nothing _romantic between the Agent and I," stated Edgeworth firmly, glaring at the brunette who merely smirked back.

_I see the game he's trying to play, and it's NOT going to work. I must stay strong!_

"After all we've been through, how can you say that?" Asked Lang, sounding hurt but his eyes were laughing. "If we're not an item, then why are you willingly holding my hand?

"You know damn well why!" exclaimed Edgeworth, losing all his composure.

"Then please, explain the reason why," urged Lang, knowing that he now had the prosecutor trapped.

If it wasn't for Pearl, then there was a chance that Edgeworth would have caved. Luckily, the young girl saved him by asking, "How's the competition going? Is Mr. Meekins okay now?"

"Excuse me? Young Miss. Fey, you know about the competition?"

"Yes, although I only knew about Mr. Meekins dare. Is anyone else out?"

This was just the break Miles needed. The Lang Zi Says tournament had been brought up by someone other than him and so technically he should be allowed to explain the situation to them. Seemingly an expert at reading just what Edgeworth was going to do next, Lang knew he had to do something or he'd be in trouble. Now that the prosecutor could tell the two girls that this was all because of a competition, he had to make sure Miles let go of his hand so he could win. Unfortunately, no ideas came to him as to how he should manage that feat and so his silver haired companion began to explain what was actually going on.

"Thank you for asking about the tournament," said Miles breathing a sigh of relief. "In answer to your question, yes more people have gone out. In fact, we're in the finals now and- mmph!"

Edgeworth's explanation was cut short. Coming up with nothing else, the agent decided that there one sure fire way to shut his fellow finalist up and to (hopefully) make him let go of his hand. And so, acting mainly on impulse, the agent had turned the prosecutor round and brought their lips together.

I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that they were currently in the middle of the street and many people were now staring at the two men kissing. Lang wasn't particularly fussed by the attention, instead finding himself getting lost in the moment and rather enjoying kissing Miles. Any rational thought Miles had left had disappeared as soon as his lips met Shi-Long's. Inside his head, warning bells were going off but with the stressful day he'd already had, they didn't do much but give him a slight headache.

Despite the fact that they were miles away from the random field, the sound of Kay going "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~" and having a major fan girl moment could still be heard.

The kiss was still going on as Lang really didn't feel like breaking it and Miles was to out of it to do anything but comply. It was only when Lang deepened their kiss that Miles came to his senses a bit more. He found himself actually _responding _to what the agent was doing, pushing his lips against the others and if he was completely honest... he wasn't hating the feeling. This was when his rational mind decided to return to him. Rapidly realizing what they were actually doing, Edgeworth pulled back sharply and only just remembered in time that he mustn't let go of the agent's hand.

Miles was blushing and gasping as he looked at the agent who had an... _interesting _expression on his face. His smirk wasn't there as it had been replaced by a small smile and there was also a slight tint to his cheeks as well. Edgeworth blushed deeper when the wolf licked his lips, as if savoring the taste that was on them. Lang wanted more, that much was obvious. Pearl was busy marveling at what had just happened _[A/N I will NOT be held responsible for turning Pearly into a fan girl...] _and Maya was utterly gobsmacked. The small crowd that had gathered started to awkwardly disperse.

It was when Maya said, "Wow... I can't wait to tell Nick about this!" that Edgeworth decided that enough was enough and he literally dragged the agent back to the random field.

On the way, Edgeworth exploded. "Just what on earth was that? Are you actually insane?"

"Don't act like that, you were getting into it," smirked the brunette.

"Wha-? No I wasn't! Where did you get that idea?"

"Well... you responded didn't you?"

"Th-That was... I wasn't thinking clearly."

"Sure," replied the wolf simply.

"This is great! God knows what Maya will tell Wright and Kay obviously saw the whole thing... This is all _your _fault so take responsibility and fix it!"

Lang's smirk disappeared then and he looked very serious all of a sudden. "I'll take responsibility but in all honesty... I'd do it again.

Miles was stunned by this statement. "What?"

"I said that I'd do it again. I thought that you'd have figured it out by now, but it looks like I'll just have to tell it to you like it is."

"Agent Lang, I haven't a clue what you are on about."

"Prosecutor Edgeworth... I think that I might be in lo-"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~! There the two lovebirds are! 'Romance wise, there is _nothing_ going on between Agent Lang and I,' yeah right! I saw that kiss! Wolfie, you bad boy!" Whatever Lang was about to say _[A/N I think that you may have already figured it out] _was interrupted as the two had just entered the random field and Kay had immediately bounded up to them, generally spazzing out.  
"Don't you dare try and tell me that there isn't anything romantic between the two of you now Mr. Edgeworth! Aw, look. You're still holding hands!"

When Edgeworth realized that he could now let go of the agent's hand, he quickly pulled it out of the gentle grasp. When Miles did this, a look of disappointment seemed to flash across Lang's face but it was gone in an instant and replaced by his usual smirk and 'bring-it-on' expression.

"I've gotta admit pretty boy, you endured that better than I thought. I felt so sure that you'd have let go of my hand, but I guess I shouldn't underestimate you. Looks like I'll have to do more than that to win this competition." As he said this, he winked at Miles whose mind was already in enough confusion.

_Just what is that supposed to mean? He wouldn't do anything more than a kiss right? Does he want to win THAT badly? And... what was he on about before when he said 'I'd do it again.' He's toying with me, that has to be it! Well I was off my guard that time, he won't get another opportunity to throw me like that. I just don't get it... why does Agent Lang have me so confused?_

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 5.25 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

"Although you two are super lovey-dovey loved up, you must still compete against each other! Although... Maybe I shouldn't give a Lang Zi for a while..."

"Kay, do I even _want _to know why you said that in a sinister way?"

"Probably not Mr. Edgeworth. The mind of a fan girl is a dark, dark place... hehe!"

A shiver went through the prosecutor's spine. _Although on the plus side, if Kay isn't giving Lang Zi's then she won't be making me do weird stuff with Lang... This competition is looking better already!_

"Let's pick people from the Loser's Bench to give Mr. Edgeworth the next Lang Zi. Let's see... Maggey! Why don't you have a go?" Kay went up to the ex-cop and held her microphone in front of her mouth so that whatever Lang Zi she came up with could be heard. Maggey considered for a moment before seeming to come up with something.

_Whatever it is, it can't be worse than previous ones I've had._

"Miles Edgeworth. Lang Zi Says: Where this uniform. It's from the cafe I used to work at." It seemed that Kay wasn't the only one who had the ability to pull things out of thin air as Maggey now held a short orange dress complete with a white frilly apron and little frilly cap.

_Disregard my last thought. THERE IS NO WAY I'M WEARING THAT!_

"That is never going to happen." Edgeworth was completely resolute.

"Oh come on Mr. Edgeworth! You can't just give up like that!"

"Can't I?" The silver haired one said sarcastically. "My dignity has been severely damaged throughout the course of today, I'd like to retain at least _some _of it."

"But think about it Mr. Edgeworth, this isn't nearly as bad as some of your previous Lang Zi's. You put your hand down Wolfie's pants so wearing a dress should be a walk in the park."

Kay had a point. If Miles just gave up now, then all the things he'd done to get here would have been for nothing. And so, after fighting an extreme battle of inner turmoil, the prosecutor went up to the Loser's Bench and grabbed the outfit from Maggey.

"Hang on... There's no way this will fit!" Observed Edgeworth, and he was pleased with this fact.

"Oh it will," reassured Maggey. "It's like those magic gloves, one size fits all."

"You have _got _to be kidding me! How long do I have to wear this for anyway?"

The ex-cop considered for a moment before saying, "Until the next Lang Zi has been done."

_Well then that shouldn't be too long..._

Sighing, Miles went backstage to lose whatever pride he had left.

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 5.40 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

"Mr. Edgewooooooooorth, how long do you plan to take?" Questioned Kay impatiently. Miles sure had been taking his sweet time, not that you could blame the poor guy.

The prosecutor looked over himself one last time before concluding that he would kill Maggey when all of this was over.

Cringing, Edgeworth cleared his throat and announced before he stepped onto the stage, "Okay, I'm coming out but... I swear to God if anyone laughs!"

Everyone got the message. Miles Edgeworth was known as a gentleman, but it was a well known fact that if you pushed him over the edge then you were pretty much screwed. However, knowing that containing their laughter would be next to impossible, they all took a deep breath and tried to think neutral thoughts.

Blushing terribly, Miles stepped onto the stage. The death threat he had issued was still on everyone's mind but it was so unbelievably difficult to just not burst into laughter. It was when Lana said, "Why Edgeworth, you look so... cute!" That everyone could no longer contain themselves and a chorus of laughter broke out which would put Calisto Yew/Shih-na to shame.

Edgeworth just stood there, unable to really do anything and feeling like a complete idiot in the frilly maid getup. He felt completely exposed as the dress was very short and the amount of time it took him to fasten the damn apron was ridiculous! The little maid cap didn't help anything and Maggey had even made him wear the brown heeled shoes that came with it (and God knows how she got his _exact _size).

When the laughter had died down the prosecutor glared at Kay and asked through gritted teeth, "Can we _please _get the next Lang Zi over with?"

Kay agreed, saying that she'd pick someone from the Loser's Bench again. However she took her time because she didn't want Miles to take the maid's outfit off. She briefly considered taking a picture but then thought that would be too cruel.

Lang had absolutely no complaints about Kay taking her time over choosing someone from the Loser's Bench. He was currently thinking extremely dirty thoughts and eying Edgeworth up. He wanted to hug Maggey for making the prosecutor wear the getup and he loved how short the dress was as he could now ogle Miles's beautifully slender legs. The silver haired one may not work out at the gym, but all the running around he does while investigating certainly toned his body to near perfection.

The Yatagarasu eventually chose Ema to give out the next Lang Zi to whoever she wanted to. It took a while for Kay to get Ema to hear her though as the young scientist was listening to her PDA (which could also be used as an MP3 player). When the brunette realized that she was needed to give out a Lang Zi, she immediately had the best idea. The song she was currently listening to gave her the inspiration.

"Okay then, for both of the finalists. Lang Zi Says: Get on the stage and do the dance for Caramelldansen." _[A/N For those who don't know what Caramelldansen is, I suggest you YouTube it otherwise you probably won't get what's going on.]_

Needless to say that the two men had absolutely no idea what Ema was on about but Kay apparently did as she exclaimed, "That's awesome! And Mr. Edgeworth is in the maid's stuff... You're a genius!"

"I don't think I want to know, but would someone explain what this Caramel Dancing thing is about so we can get this over with?" Asked Lang.

"It's Caramelldansen!" Chorused the two young teens. Ema continued, "It's basically this."

Once again, using her all powerful PDA (do you see why she was so desperate to keep it now?) she connected to a video site and showed a few clips of Caramelldansen.

"That is the most ridiculous dance-"

"Mr. Edgeworth stop complaining. It's good fun, plus it's really simple!"  
"Yeah, and you must both do the dance properly or you're out."

And so it came to pass that Ema's PDA was hooked up to the loud speakers to play the song (the speedy remix of course XD) and Lang and Edgeworth took their positions center stage to dance along.

Wasting no time and wanting to get it over with, both men signaled for the music to start.

Doing the moves they saw from the videos they raised their hands so they were a bit like ears above their heads and started swinging their hips. This triggered some inevitable giggles but regardless, the two contestants persevered.

It was going pretty well and the ex-contestants plus Kay were thoroughly amused by the scene playing out on the stage. However, when Lang looked at Miles to make sure that his rival was also giving it his all and he wasn't the only one looking like an idiot, he was mesmerized.

The short dress Edgeworth was wearing was swinging in time with his hip swings (obviously) but because the dress was already very short, each time he swung his hips more leg was revealed. The way Miles was moving was hypnotic to Lang and as he got caught up in staring at the prosecutor, his rhythm started to slow down. When the agent looked up from Edgeworth's oh so tempting lower body his self control rapidly flew down. It's only natural that the prosecutor was embarrassed as hell wearing his current outfit and then having to do this dance, and he was looking at the ground slightly with a really cute blush on his cheeks. He looked so cute and innocent, but at the same time... _Sexy! Damn he looks so innocent with that face but the way he's swinging his hips... He must be doing this to throw me..._

But the prosecutor wasn't. To him all he was doing was shaking his hips to some random song in Swedish and feeling like an utter idiot. He was so intent on just getting through the song and then being able to take off the awful outfit that he hadn't even noticed Lang's intense gaze upon him, _wanting _him.

It took every ounce of self control the wolf had to not stop the dance and pounce on Miles right there. But he just about managed to hold back until the song had finished, and this is where things got interesting.

Once the song had ended, Edgeworth immediately started to move towards the backstage area where his usual clothes were so that he could change back. Lang however, had other ideas. He had to think quickly and his thought pattern went a bit like this:

_I want him so bad! But I can't exactly do much in front of everyone... _*looks at Edgeworth walking off* _...Nice ass! Dammit, it's no good like this. I have to tell him how I feel, I'm not gonna force him or anything. How to do it? GAH! I can't think properly, I just wanna take him now! _*considers it* _No matter how much I want to, I don't think that's the best course of action..._

Deciding to follow the prosecutor backstage, Lang was met with the sight of Edgeworth already changed back into his trousers but nothing else. The sight of his exposed torso had Lang chanting in his head:

_Resist, resist, resist! Don't do anything stupid..._

The silver haired man was slightly surprised when he noticed the others presence but carried on dressing himself. He noticed Lang staring as he was doing up the buttons to his blouse and it made him feel slightly uneasy. After doing the dance the prosecutor felt hot so he didn't bother to but his jacket on and avoided his cravat for obvious reasons.

Once he was dressed and Lang was still there he decided to ask if anything was wrong.

"Look, Prosecutor Edgeworth... I tried to tell you this earlier but Miss. Faraday... Never mind. But I really have something important to say."

"Agent Lang, why do you sound so serious?"

"Because I'm serious about this. I disregarded these feelings at first but I've come to realize that they are actually real and they won't go away."

"What are you-"

"Why can't you figure it out? The Lang Zi I gave you earlier should've been a hint at least! I lo-"

"Honestly! How do you expect the competition to keep going if the two finalists are busy gossiping backstage? Come on you two, you have more Lang Zi's to complete!" Once again Kay had picked the absolute _worst _time to barge into things. Miles was still clueless as to what Lang was trying to say and it looked like he'd have to try and puzzle it out on his own as Kay was busy dragging them back onto the stage.

"Alright then!" She said cheerily. "Let's continue with the final! Who shall give the next Lang Zi Says?"

There was an air of anticipation in the air as Kay looked like she was about to choose someone but instead said, "We'll find out after we have a coffee break, I'm parched! And the two finalists look like they could do with a break too. Alright then, everyone take ten minutes!"

And thus concluded the first part of the final. The question is: Can the second part be just as awesomely random?

...Hell Yeah!

x~x~x~x~x

**And end! I really wanted to get the final into one chapter but looking at the other Lang Zi's I have it didn't exactly look feasible... But I hope that this part was good and I hope to have it finished in the next part! I'll probably be writing it by the pool as I go to Spain tomorrow ^_^ However, there's no way that will stop me from updating! I vow to go back to my regular updates now that I have no more revision XD  
Please review and give your comments etc. Because they really do mean so much to me :) And don't forget to leave questions for the Interview chapter.  
Well thank you so much for reading my fic and until next time~~ (which will be pretty soon :P)**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	9. The Final, Part Two

***Sniffle* I can't believe it's all coming to an end, I'm so emotional! But really, I've had some good times with this fic and I'm sad to see it wrapping up. I'd like to thank all those who've read my fic, all those who have reviewed/favourited (and those who'll review/favourite in the future) and Capcom for the great characters. But enough with my babbling, we still have Lang Zi's to do and a winner to crown so without further ado, here's Lang Zi Says!**

**Good news, I now own Ace Attorney! ... Obviously that would never happen. Yes dear readers, I still don't own this series T.T  
WARNING: Contains the general nonsense and themes as seen in previous chapters, although maybe more LangxEdgey XD**

x~x~x~x~x

Chapter Nine- The Final, Part Two

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 6.00 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

"And we're back with more Lang Zi Says! All of us are now thoroughly refreshed thanks to that little break. Are we ready to contin- Umm... Wolfie? You okay?"

Kay stopped her host routine when she saw the agent looked completely defeated. He breathed a heavy sigh before giving a slight nod, although Kay still pressed on the matter.  
"Wolfie? What's wrong?"

_'What's wrong?' she asks! SHE is what's wrong! The amount of times I had and she was always..._

You may be wondering what Lang is so worked up about. You see, when the agent heard that there would be a ten minute coffee break he made a resolve: Confess his feelings to Miles.  
That was the plan, but sadly it didn't work out like that. Instead it went a bit like this:

Attempt One

*Lang brings Miles to one side*  
"Agent Lang? Do you want something?"  
"Yes. I want to tell you something."  
"Is this the same thing you were on about earlier?"  
"Yes. Listen, I lo-"  
"Hey you two~~! Oh my, you're the finalists so you must get something to drink! Come with me."  
*Kay drags them both away, thus ending the first attempt*

Attempt Two

*By the drinks table*  
"So... About what I was saying earlier."  
"Oh yes. Well go on, Kay's busy talking to Ema."  
"Good, so now I can get this out. Mr. Prosecutor-"  
"Why do you call me that?"  
"Call you what?"  
"'Mr. Prosecutor.' You can call me by name if you so wish Agent Lang."  
"Err... Right. So, Prosecutor Edgeworth then?"  
"...Yes. At least it's a step up."  
"Right, so anyway what I've been trying to tell you is that... I lo-"  
"Hiya Mr. Edgeworth~~! Did you see, did you see? I got you your favourite fancy tea, aren't I so kind?  
*Kay and Edgeworth start talking about tea for ages, thus ending the second attempt*

Attempt Three

*The two finalists are sitting on the stage*  
"I can't believe Kay's game got this out of hand."  
"Yeah, it's been pretty insane."  
"Any highlights of today Agent Lang?"  
"A few, but one in particular."  
"And that is?"  
"Our kiss..."  
"What!" 0.0 _[A/N This is Edgeworth's face upon hearing that]_  
"Prosecutor Edgeworth, I lo-"  
"Just letting you two know that you have three more minutes~~! Oh Mr. Edgeworth, Gummy wants to talk to you."  
*Miles goes to talk to Gumshoe, thus ending the third attempt*

Attempt Four

*Turns Miles around*  
"Agent Lang?"  
"Don't say anything. I always get interrupted so I'm just gonna say it. I lo-"  
*Lang Zi Says theme music starts up again and Kay is back on the stage, thus ending the fourth attempt*

"And we're back with more Lang Zi Says! All of us are now thouroghly refreshed thanks to that little break. Are we ready to contin- Umm... Wolfie? You okay?"

And this is where you came in. Alas, Miles was still utterly clueless as to Shi-Long's feelings of love.

_Four opportunities and she ruins all of them! Am I being punished or something? I just want to tell Pretty Boy how I feel dammit!_

"Well we don't have time to delay! We have Lang Zi's to dish out. I'll pick someone from the Loser's Bench again... Gummy! Why don't you give us a Lang Zi?"

"You got it pal! Let's see... Oh I've got a great one! For both the finalists. Lang Zi Says: Play Guitar Hero on Expert pal! If you can't make it through the whole song then you're out."

A giant gasp went though the group.

Kay: G-Gummy? You can't be serious. _Expert! _That takes some serious skill; you could get hurt if you're not careful!

Gumshoe: Get hurt? When we were playing it the other day we were both fine

Kay: Yes, but that was on _Easy_

Meekins: THIS LITTLE MAN HURT HIMSELF PLAYING MEDIUM, SIR!

Ema: Scientifically speaking, it could be dangerous...

Lana: I dealt with an injury claim for Guitar Hero once

Maggey: *whispers something to Gumshoe*

Gumshoe: Great idea pal! The song you guys need to play is 'Through The Fire And Flames' _[A/N If you play the whole song on expert then one word: OUCH! It's insanely hard!]_

More gasps and comments like, "They'll never make it!" "Someone get a medic ready!" "We'll need ice packs!" were heard.

Through all this commotion Edgeworth asked a question that earned him the (now) infamous 'WTF' faces:

"Will someone please tell me what Guitar Hero is?"

Miles got his explanation from Gumshoe and Ema while Kay went to set the game up on the big screen.

"Okay, it's all set up. Mr. Edgeworth, Wolfie, have you ever played this before?"

Both of the finalists shook their heads.

"Right, so you need the tutorial first.

The next ten minutes went a bit like this:

"The note won't play!"  
"You need to strum!"  
"I need to what?"  
"Strum!"  
"How do you play orange?"  
"Move your hand up."  
"It's too fast!"  
"You're only on half speed!"  
"And you play long notes how?"  
"What the heck is a whammy bar?"  
"You need to do hammer on's and pull off's!"  
"Kay... What on earth are you on about?"

After miraculously completing the tutorials, Lang and Edgeworth got ready to play 'Through The Fire And Flames.'

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 6.25 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

"Let's get ready to rumble Ladies and Gentlemen! This is the Lang Zi Says Tournament and we currently have a Guitar Hero battle underway. The two finalists have never played this game before and you can tell with all the notes they're missing. Look at the pain on their faces, they are definitely getting cramp in their hands and arms." Kay was doing her usual running commentary while Miles and Lang were doing their best to carry on playing the song.

Both men were surprised by how tired they got by playing a video game and so they put their rivalry aside and leant against each other for support while trying to get through the seemingly endless song.

"And they are still holding on! We're coming up to the fifth solo so there's about three minutes left."

"What? Kay, just how long _is_ this song?"  
"Yeah, we've been playing for ages already!"

"About eight minutes long."

"Eight minutes! That's impossible!"  
"My hands kill!"

"Come on you two; stick it out just a bit longer!"

Despite the Yatagarasu's words of encouragement, it didn't help the duo one bit.

"Only a minute left! Just look at the audiences response, they are in shock and awe. I must admit that I myself had doubts to the completion of the song but these two are fighters! Come on Mr. Edgeworth, come on Wolfie!"

_I- I can't do this. My hands hurt so much... I don't think I can do this anymore. What's the worst that could happen if Agent Lang wins?_

_This is freaking impossible! I've never had cramp this bad! Dammit, I can't do this. Maybe I'll just let Pretty Boy win, he seems to be faring better..._

But just as they were thinking this, the song reached the outro and before they knew it, the ordeal was over.  
Applause and cheers flared up from Kay and those on the Loser's Bench.

Completely shattered, the two men collapsed on top of each other. They were so preoccupied by getting feeling and mobility back in their hands that they didn't notice the compromising position they were in until Kay gave her usual fan girl squeal that had become so familiar. Coming to their senses, the two men looked at one another and immediately Miles blushed and Lang smirked.

Miles was lead on the stage while Lang was on top of him, straddling him.

_Why am I always put in embarrassing situations like this with him? And... why do they get me so flustered? My heart is racing..._

Miles was doing his best to stop blushing and looked away from Lang's gaze.

_Well this is an interesting situation. It's a pity there are so many people here or else I'd definitely _-censored thoughts-

"A-Agent Lang? Would you mind getting off of me sometime soon?"

"Huh? Oh! Oh yeah, sorry..."

Lang offered his hand to Miles once he was up. After hesitating, the prosecutor took it gingerly. He pulled his hand away quickly as soon as he was back on his feet.

_Why am I feeling like this?_

Looking at the interaction between the two, Kay figured something out. She had been secretly hoping that the prosecutor and the agent would get together but thought it was just one of her many fan girl fantasies. When she saw the kiss between the two, she knew that it had occurred because it was a strategy employed by Wolfie (although that didn't stop her teasing). However, the way the two were acting now... It was a situation she had seen many times in her extensive yaoi manga collection. It was that awkward faze where one guy clearly had feelings for the other but was completely confused as to how to tell the them. The other was trying to figure out his feelings and would sooner or later figure out they were romantic. All they needed was a little push and magic would happen. And it was at this exact moment that Kay started plotting the Lang Zi that would probably decide the tournament...

However, as her idea was still in planning, she chose Rhoda to keep the finalists occupied with a Lang Zi of her choice.

"I'll give you an easy one seeing as you've had it pretty tough. Okay so, Shi-Long Lang. Lang Zi Says: What is your favourite T.V show?"

"Hmmm... Well, for a long time I was a huge fan of the Jammin' Ninja. I mean, that show was just awesome!"

"Wolfie! You like the Jammin' Ninja too? It's the best show ever isn't it? I love it so much! I have loads of merchandise but Mr. Edgeworth doesn't like it."

Edgeworth was currently staring at Lang in disbelief. "How on earth could you like a show like that? If you ask me-"

"Hey hey. I said I _was _a fan of the Jammin' Ninja. The show went rapidly downhill when one of the main actors was murdered. That was a dark time... Incidentally, weren't you the prosecutor for that case?"

"Why yes. That seems ages ago now."

"Anyway, now I must say that I'm a Steel Samurai fan. They always find a way to keep it new and interesting."

"Wolfie! How could you? The Jammin' Ninja is so much better!"

"Sorry, but Steel Samurai is the best. Wouldn't you agree Prosecutor Edge-"

Lang cut himself off when he saw the way Miles was looking at him. His eyes seemed to sparkle and he was looking at the agent in...  
_Is that... admiration?_

"I'm so glad you saw sense. The Steel Samurai is a much better show!"

"Huh? You're a fan?"

"Is he a fan? Of course he is! Mr. Edgeworth never admits it but it's so obvious with all the random stuff he knows about the show. He even has a Steel Samurai model in his office!"

"I like the show! Is that a crime? But Agent Lang, I had no idea you were also a fan." Miles smiled at the Agent who just stood there awe struck.

_So... a weakness? I never imagined someone like him would be a fan of a kids show._

The two finalists started having a very nerdy talk about the Steel Samurai and how great it was while Kay was busy defending the Jammin' Ninja.  
After a while had passed Kay realised that she really should be working on her great Lang Zi idea and that another Lang Zi should be given. Although that didn't stop Kay from teasing the two men by going, "Awww you both like the same show. You must be soul mates~~!"

"Mike Meekins and Lauren Paups, would you collaborate on a Lang Zi for the finalists for us please?" The reason for picking these two was because people seemed to have forgotten they were actually there and she felt sorry for them seemingly missing out on her competition. Not that she actually expected them to come up with a decent Lang Zi but it was only fair that everyone got a chance.

Everyone shared Kay's thoughts, thinking that the next Lang Zi would be rubbish. Miles and Lang were thinking they would get a break and so everyone once again had their 'WTF' faces on when they heard the result of what the two most harmless people here had come up with. Lauren was the one who spoke for them.

"Oh... Well it's for both the finalists and... No Lauren, stop! Don't look at them like that; your heart isn't theirs... A-Anyway... Lang Zi Says: Mud Wrestle."

"With your tops off sirs!" Added Meekins.

"...Are you both insane? There's no way I'm doing that! Besides it hasn't rained lately so there isn't even any mud!"

"That's not a problem, I've got it covered!" Kay was busy soaking an area of the Random Field with a giant hose.

"...Kay, you have a solution for everything don't you?"

"You bet! The Yatagarasu is always prepared!"

"Well don't bother. I'm not doing it."

"Ah come on Prosecutor Edgeworth, live a little. It'll be fun."

"No way."

"Does that mean I win? I mean, I'm willing to do it so-"

"No! I won't lose!"

"But you just said you wouldn't do it."

"...Fine," sighed Miles. _It's not like I'm unused to being in compromising situations with the Agent anyway..._

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 6.50 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

"The rules for this Lang Zi are simple: Mud wrestle. It doesn't matter who the winner is but you have to keep it up for three minutes. I'd remove your shoes and socks if I were you. Oh! You must also be topless... Oh you already are! Eager to do this Lang Zi are you?"

"Eager to get it over with," mumbled Edgeworth.

"Alright then. Get in the mud and let's go!"

The two contestants waded into the mud and met in the middle.

"You know how this works right Pretty Boy?"

"Of course."

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

"Once again, you underestimate me Agent Lang." And seeing as Kay had given the signal to start the match, Edgeworth had Lang lying in the mud in one swift movement. The prosecutor neatly pinned him there as well, a smirk coming to his lips.

"How did you-"

"That's irrelevant. The question is, think you can turn the tables?"

"Another challenge? Don't worry, I accept!"

The Agent tried to get out of the pin Miles currently had him in. This, however, was proving more difficult than he had initially thought.

The wolf let out a low growl.

"Something wrong Agent Lang?"

_How is he keeping me here? I can barely move!_

After some more struggling Shi-Long paused to catch his breath. He just lay in the mud trying to formulate a plan to get out of this situation and pin Miles. He looked at the smug look on his opponents face and growled again. But then he moved his eyes slightly down, and this provided the energy needed for him to give the prosecutor a challenge. The reason being is that they were both topless as the Lang Zi required it of them. Being this close to the silver haired one and the fact that he had no shirt on revealed his perfectly smooth skin. It was like a blank canvas, completely flawless and with no marks at all.

Unable to resist having certain thoughts, the self control of the brunette started to rapidly fall and this is what gave him an energy boost to reverse the situation so that he was the one pinning Miles.

The prosecutor was surprised at how quick Lang had managed to switch their places but a small smile graced his lips. "As always you're giving me quite the match."

"You know it! And don't think you'll pin me again so easily."

Lang was busy looking over Edgeworth's torso and _longing _to run his hands all over. After a few failed attempts of escape from Miles, Lang couldn't take it anymore and so lightly touched the tips of his fingers to the other's chest. The prosecutor's eyes widened and looked at the agent in confusion. Expecting to see the other smirking, obviously toying with him, you can imagine the surprise Miles had when he saw the agents face.

Lang had a slight blush on his cheeks and he was pursing his lips. It was as if he was weighing something up. Miles had never been one to read people's emotions well as he was so used to being on his own for a large period in his life, but even he saw plenty of conflicting emotions in the agent's eyes.

"Agent Lang?"

"Wha? Oh! S-Sorry... I-"

Lang never finished his sentence and quickly removed his hand. Miles was shocked to discover that this disappointed him.

_His touch... it felt nice..._

Deciding that he didn't want to deal with confusing emotions, Miles saw that Lang had let his defences down and so he once again flipped the positions so that he was the one pinning the agent.

Lang didn't put up much of a fight at first as he was still trying to comprehend his actions and what would have happened if Miles hadn't snapped him out of it.

_This is getting dangerous... He needs to know how I feel!_

Not really caring that they were both covered in mud, the wolf was about to try confessing again until Kay announced, "And three minutes are up! It wasn't exactly a full on wrestling match but... I guess there were pins and stuff so you both pass."

Kay, being the ever observant girl she was, noticed the slight touch during the match. She saw Lang's self control diminishing and got the idea of what he was going through. She saw that Miles was just as confused as ever.  
Having finally formulated her Lang Zi, Kay thought she would put it into action this next go.

Once the two finalists were out of the mud, the young thief decided to give them a helpful clean off with the giant hose.

"Kay! The water is freezing!"

"Oh stop complaining! You're covered in mud so you should be thanking me for cleaning you off."

A super soak and two fluffy towels later, Kay was ready to give the Lang Zi that would decide it all...

x~x~x~x~x

-Date: Saturday, May-  
-Time: 7.04 pm-  
-Place: Random Field-

"We've had our ups and downs. We've laughed, we've cried, we've found out juicy secrets and even met a man eating squirrel! But all of that is coming to an end as the first ever Lang Zi Says Tournament draws to a close."

"Kay, the competition is still going you know!"  
"Yeah. Little Yatagarasu, do you doubt our ability to continue?"

"Of course not! You two are amazing contestants, you've shown that. Nevertheless a winner needs to be crowned and the next Lang Zi can and will decide the winner."

"Oh really? I'm intrigued, so this is the decider? Ha! Bring it on! This wolf is ready for _anything!_"

_I wouldn't say 'anything' Wolfie..._

"Okay, I just need to borrow Mr. Edgeworth for a minute or two. Please come with me."

-A few minutes later-

Miles came back with Kay. The prosecutor was blushing insanely and Kay had a huge grin on her face.

"Why did you have to tell me all of that? That's not going to benefit me in the least!"

"But Mr. Edgeworth, it will benefit you more than you think."

"And how do you figure that?"

"Because that is your next Lang Zi... Well sort of. The final challenge! The winner will be the one who can hold out the longest! Miles Edgeworth. Lang Zi Says: Act like you're Lang's uke. Shi-Long Lang. Lang Zi Says: No matter what, you must resist Mr. Edgeworth. Whoever can keep up their Lang Zi the longest is the winner. Are we understood?"

"Kay! You can't possibly be serious!"

"Why not? I'm deadly serious actually."

"So that's the whole reason you decided to educate me on..."

"What a seme is and what an uke is? Yes."

"Wait a second! I've said all day that there is _nothing _romantic between us!"

"Well I don't believe you."

"Wait a second... Why am _I _the uke?"

"Take it from a seasoned yaoi fan. You're definitely the uke Mr. Edgeworth!"

"But-"

"No but's! Would you just do the Lang Zi?"

"Agent Lang has an easy Lang Zi! Of course he's going to resist Kay!"

"Heh. I've been watching you two all day Mr. Edgeworth. Trust me, if you can pull this off then this is the ultimate Lang Zi for Wolfie."

Lang was just stood there listening to the conversation going on between the host and the prosecutor. He didn't understand what the two were on about and the only thought going through his head was:

_What the heck is an uke?_

"Alright then! Let's get this over with, the Lang Zi that will decide it all! Both finalists ready? Begin!"

Miles was willing to give it a try, he'd done so many degrading things that day that this should be fairly easy. Thanks to Kay he knew the kind of stuff he had to do.

Lang had no idea what was about to come his way seeing as he had no idea what an uke was. All he knew was that he had to resist, _And that can't be too hard right?_

Miles walked up to Lang. He took a deep breath and went into 'uke mode.'  
He blushed naturally at the idea of what he was about to do and that just aided the overall look he was going for.

"Lang..." Miles whispered, looking into the other's eyes. He was internally cringing but he had to keep this up.

The silver haired one pushed his body up against the wolf's and wrapped his arms around his neck.

_WOAH! Okay, just stay cool Lang. You can do this! I get why I have to resist now, I can resist. Yeah..._

...Lang was actually struggling to resist. He had no idea what the Yatagarasu had taught the prosecutor but he was freaking great at it.

"I... I have to tell you something..." Edgeworth whispered by the agent's ear which caused the latter to shiver.

Kay was busy doing her best to stop squealing and there were mixed reactions to the scene playing out from the Loser's Bench.

"You see I... I've always... _Liked _you..."

Lang's self control was vanishing rapidly and Miles thought about what he'd just said.

_Was that... Just part of the act? Or is that really how I feel?_

Kay saw the realisation wash over Miles and she smiled. _I knew this would work!_

Edgeworth carried on. He started saying how he genuinely felt and realised with horror that he did sound like an uke. However, if he was questioned about it he would just say he was immersed in the role.

"I don't get it. You make me feel... different. I get feelings that I've rarely felt before and I'm... confused if anything. I just want to know _why._ Why do you make me feel like this? Why didn't I... Why didn't I mind you kissing me earlier as much as I should have? I can't come up with a logical conclusion..."

By this point Miles was laying his head on Lang's chest.

_He's good... Really good... Is this still an act anymore? He sounds honest._

The agent looked at Miles. He still had the blush and confusion was evident on his face.

"I can't figure this out... It's almost as if I've... I think that I might..."

Pre-empting what the prosecutor was going to say Lang cracked.

_Whether or not this is an act... I can't resist anymore!_

Gently reaching under the prosecutor's chin to bring his face up, Lang brought their lips together for the second time that day.

_This... It feels nice. I know I should pull away but I honestly don't want to..._

Instead, Miles closed his eyes and let the sensation wash over him.

Eventually the two broke apart for air.

_Now is the perfect time to confess, _concluded Lang.

"Prosecutor Edgeworth... I lo-"

"And we have a winner! Wolfie, you broke down and didn't resist so that means that the winner of the first ever Lang Zi Says tournament is Miles Edgeworth! Congratulations Mr. Edgeworth!"

_You have GOT to be kidding me! She ruined it AGAIN!_

Kay ushered the two men up onto the stage. "Let's give them a round of applause everyone!"

The people on the Loser's Bench clapped and cheered. General words of congratulations were shouted.

Miles was trying to come to terms with the stuff he'd said and the fact that Lang had kissed him... Again.

Lang was pissed that his attempt at confessing had failed _again_ and so when Kay started to talk he thought that _he'd_ be the one to interrupt _her_.

"It's been a long day. We've all had immense fun and I'm just bursting with ideas for next year's tournament!"

"Next year's tournament?" Everyone chorused.

"Why not? It could happen right? But that aside we have a winner to crown. Miles Edgeworth, you are officially the victor of this year's tournament! I'd just like to say-"

"PROSECUTOR EDGEWORTH, I LOVE YOU!" Lang shouted, shutting Kay up.

"What?" Asked Miles, stunned.

"Ahem... I love you," Repeated Lang, but more softly.

"...Well it's about time!" Said Kay. "Geez, you sure took forever! I thought you were never gonna confess. The amount of chances you've had to tell him, why didn't you use any of them?"

Lang looked at the Yatagarasu and growled.

"Ummm... Wolfie? Why are you looking at me like that? Okay! Well that's all from the Lang Zi Says Tournament everybody! Now everyone go and recover in time for next year! In the mean time, I think I'm gonna get outta here!"

Kay bolted from the stage while Lang chased her.

_Why didn't I use those chances? SHE WOULDN'T FREAKING LET ME! Today would have been so much easier if I'd confessed earlier!_

And on that note, the Lang Zi Says tournament came to an end. But one thing was certain: things would be far from normal thanks to the events that had occurred that day...  
...But, that's definitely not a bad thing!

THE END... Well, kinda :P

x~x~x~x~x

**We still have the interview chapter left! So please leave questions for the characters or me (as many as you want) for anything you want to know about how they felt etc.  
I've had so much fun writing this fic and I hope that you have enjoyed reading it. Please read and review as I do love all your reviews.  
Thank you so much for reading my fic and stick around for the interview chapter!  
Until next time then~~ ^_^**

**xx-animeXalchemist-xx**


	10. Omake!  Interview

**Okay... so Imma say this now: I am so, so, super, unbelievably sorry this has taken so long. You see, recently there has been a serious family issue and it's taken me away from everything. The situation is finally calming down and so hopefully my regular updates will return soon :) Again, I'm so sorry for the wait and I hope readers of this fic will still want to read this final chapter**

**You asked the questions and now you're finally gonna get your answers! This is the Interview chapter! :D  
NOTE: Things I say are in bold just so you know the difference :P**

x~x~x~x~x

Omake! ~ Interview

A spotlight shines, focuses on the stage. On the stage is a long table with places for those set to appear in what is to come. Glasses of water have been provided. The audience and interviewers crowd into the room, waiting for the contestants to appear. Then comes the familiar music: the Lang Zi Says theme tune. In come those we have all been waiting for: The Lang Zi Says competitors and the author make their way to the long table and sit down. The interview has begun...

**"ALRIGHT! Welcome to the interview chapter everyone! My name is Kyo and I'm the author of this fic so you will probably know me as xx-animeXalchemist-xx. I have decided to host this thing, so sorry Kay! Throughout this fic, I have asked for your questions for the characters and I am pleased to say I actually got some! ^_^ The characters are here to answer these questions and then we will open up to the interviewers in the audience for any questions they may have. So without further ado, let's get on with the first question!"**

*audience cheer*

**"So I have two questions here from _wolfdragon731. _This first one is for Miles Edgeworth and it asks: **_So, Miles, do you have a new use for your cravat? I mean, does Shin like to leave hickeys or love bites... Or perhaps does he like to leave both? _**Hehe... I like this question! So Edgey, your answer?"**

"...What kind of question is that! I mean, why on earth would you assume that Lang and I now have that kind of relationship?"

**"...Do you?"**

"...Yes..."

**"Then answer!"**

"No! I retain my right to remain silent!"

**"Fine. Then I'll retain my right to unleash the man eating squirrel and his friends on you."**

"What?"

**"You see, I have to make sure that everyone will answer. So I came up with my idea: you can't lie as Little Thief will tell me. And you have to answer as-" ***pulls off a cloth covering something* **"-you can clearly see that I have contained the man eating squirrel and his other friends in this cage right here! Failure to answer will result in you getting squirreled."**

"Nngh... You wouldn't dare."

**"Try me -_-"**

"Fine! I'll answer! ... Well..." The prosecutor looked down at the floor, a slight blush coming to his cheeks. As he was struggling to compose himself and was trying and get the right words, a small grin came to Lang's face. The agent let out a small chuckle, earning him one of Edgeworth's infamous death glares.

"You might as well say, after all it's not like you can dodge the issue."

"I'm well aware of that fact! Ahem, to answer the question... umm..."

**"You're taking too long! Kay, do me a favour and grab Edgeworth's cravat would you? We'll soon see if Lang _does _leave hickeys."**

"Sure thing!" The Yatagarasu sprang into action, doing a very impressive ninja-like routine to land right in front of Miles. Making an attempt to grab the cravat, Miles managed to neatly dodge out the way.

"Fine I'll say! He... does..." The prosecutor said this quietly and was blushing insanely. Lang had a proud smirk on his face, however it soon disappeared when the next question was asked.

**"The next question is for Lang. It asks:** _Agent Lang, who would you say wears the pants in this relationship?_**"**

It was Miles that now had a smirk, and looked at Lang in a way that said, "Oh I am SO loving this!"

"Well... I'd guess you'd say it was equal." Was Lang's answer.

"Oh really?" Said Edgeworth in a way that sounded threatening. "You honestly believe that it's equal?" The prosecutor raised an eyebrow.

Lang let out a low growl, "Grr... GAH! Fine! Pretty Boy does! Ya happy? -_-"

Kay giggled and Gumshoe stated, "That's Mr. Edgeworth for you pal!"

**"On with the next question and it is from _Shadow_. It's another one for Edgey and it asks:** _Who are you going to choose to be your slave, and what are you going to make them do? :3 _**Yeah... Come to think of it I was wondering that myself. Well, your answer Edgey?"**

A devious grin appeared on the lips of the silver haired one. There was literally a temperature drop. Miles proceeded to look at Lang.

"H-Hey! Why would ya pick on me?"

"Well I was originally intending to target someone else, but after you saying you thought there was equal power in our relationship..."

"C'mon! I admitted that you were the one in charge!"

"Yes, but you didn't say that straight away did you? I think I may have to pick on you to be my slave so I can adequately punish you so you will _never _make that mistake again..."

After Miles said this, Kay began having fan girl fantasies of how exactly Miles would 'punish' Lang and it seemed Lang had the same ideas as Kay because a glint came to his eye and his smirk reappeared.

"Well then, guess I'll just have to accept my punishment."

Unable to let this one slip by, Rhoda chimed in with, "Why don't you borrow Ms. von Karma's whip? After all, Ms. Skye demonstrated perfectly the effects it can have."

If Edgey's glare could turn people to stone then the glare Lana gave Rhoda could have shattered them into a million pieces. Despite the fact that Lana looked like she would kill someone, everyone laughed anyway. Well, everyone except Franziska who stated that, "A whip is for discipline you foolish fools and not for trivial things such as twisted pleasure!"

It was Maggey who dared say something risky this time. "So is that to say you've never used your whip like that when you're with Adrian?"

Turning scarlet, the blue haired girl smacked her whip against the floor exclaiming, "YOU FOOLISH FOOL! HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING?"

"So... is that a no?"

"..."

"Scientifically speaking, that stunned silence suggests otherwise," said Ema, while typing in some random data into her PDA."

"Fool!" Shouted Franziska as she lifted up her whip and smacked it down on Gumshoe.

"Ouch! What was that for pal?"

"Silence! I'm sick of this foolishness!"

**"Okay no need for violence people! Franziska is into BDSM, let's just leave it at that."**

"Say that again you fool!" Threatened Franziska, her whip poised.

**"Don't be too hasty." ***points to man eating squirrels* **"You really wanna hit me with that?"**

Deciding that she liked her face the way it was, von Karma sat down huffily but didn't continue the issue.

**"Well it seemed we got sidetracked for a bit there. Time to carry on. The next question is from HelloReality and they would like to know what Kay's favourite yaoi moment was."**

"Kyaaaa~ There were just so many! Okay, I'd have to say the first kiss in the town! WAIT! The mud wrestling! WAIT! When Mr. Edgeworth was the uke! WAIT! The Cravat dare! KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! I can't decide there were just so many and I loved them all! KYAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~" Kay sank down in her chair as she let her yaoi fantasies get the best of her.

**"Oh dear... It appears we have temporarily lost Kay "n.n Well... I guess we should carry on anyway. So these are our final questions from the readers and they are both from Lacrimosa Lolita. I'll save the second one for later in the interview but the first one says:** _I don't know about everyone else but when I get into an argument or play a game, I always think up of things that I could have said or done differently afterward. This usually results in, "Man! I should have totally said this!" So, my question is, did you guys think that you gave a too easy of a Lang Zi? Did you think up of different Lang Zis after you gave one to someone and if so, what were they?_** Right, so let's do this in an orderly fashion and take turns! Franziska, go first if you please."**

"I feel that my Lang Zi's were fine as a von Karma must be perfect. Seeing as I am perfect, I would have done nothing differently."

**"Seriously?"**

"Don't question my perfection you imperfect fool!"

**"Ouch... okay then, Meekins you've been awful quiet. Care to share if you'd have done something differently?"**

"I wouldn't have come sir! THIS LITTLE MAN WAS FORCED TO COME HERE BY THE SCARY THIEF!"

Everyone looked at Kay accusingly.

"How was I supposed to know he was gonna get savaged by a squirrel?" As she said this, a squeaking sound that sounded a lot like evil laughter came from the cage containing the man eating squirrel.

**"That's... slightly worrying. I'd better keep an eye on that squirrel. But anyways, Maggey do you have any regrets?"**

"Yes." Said the ex-cop icily. "If given the chance to repeat the competition then I would have caught the science girl no matter what -_-"

Ema let out a little squeal and shielded her PDA. "I wouldn't do anything differently as I saved my precious PDA and that's all that matters!"

**"Lauren Paups, you to have been quiet. Would you have done anything differently?"**

"Oh... Oh Lauren! She's asking you a question! I must answer! I must! But no! You can't can you? It's just that- Oh dear!" *faints*

**"Uh-huh... Guess I shoulda seen that coming. Err... Kay. Would you have done anything differently?"**

"Nope! ^_^ I got Mr. Edgeworth and Wolfie together and I got loads of yaoi out of it so from my point of view it was great! :D"

"I would have done something differently, pal. I would have kept my mouth shut so I could have given my really good Lang Zi! I'd thought about it for ages and it was really good pal! I just never got to use it..."

**"Care to explain what it was?"**

I can't sir! You see I'm saving it, just in case."

**"Fair enough, I guess it may come in handy in the future... Oh! While I remember, sadly Colias Palaeno is busy running his country and so couldn't be here so I guess we'll never know if he would have done anything differently. Lana, would you have done anything differently?"**

"Yes. After analyzing my performance I would have taken better care and not fallen into Edgeworth's trap like I did. I also would have gotten Edgeworth to kiss Agent Lang or Detective Gumshoe or something along those lines. Maybe have him running around naked?"

"What!" Exclaimed Miles. "There's no way I'd have done that!"

"And that's precisely why I should have issued them as Lang Zi's. I was far too nice and I assure you that it won't happen again."

**"Rhoda? You happy with how things turned out?"**

"On reflection, I think that wearing chocolate underwear was a mistake. It all melted! So I would have rethought my underwear choice."

**"Just out of pure curiosity, why were you wearing chocolate underwear?"**

"I believe I mentioned that they were a present from Cammy?"

**"Yeah..."**

"Well I was intending to spice up our meeting at the prison as she always-"

**"-Okay! That's alright Rhoda, this is rated T ya know!"**

"Yeah, I thought that would be your reaction," giggled the flight attendant.

**"Wolfie, change anything?"**

"Of course. What would I have done differently? Win. Yeah, if I was to repeat the contest I'd make sure that I'd be victorious."

**"And that's all you'd change?"**

"Of course. As long as I get the win, everything else is irrelevant! After all, Lang Zi Says: A wolf's trials prepare him for the ultimate goal of triumph."

**"Okay then... Finally, Edgey would you have done anything differently?"**

"Stop calling me Edgey! Honestly you are just as bad as Butz!"

**"Would you prefer Edgey-poo?"**

"Absolutely not! *sigh* To answer the question I would have stayed in my office, thus avoiding the utter chaos."

"Aww, you don't mean that Mr. Edgeworth. After all, you and Wolfie have gotten a whole lot closer ;) Plus, you also won!"

"I guess... Maybe I would have competed then. But I would have found a way to get out of wearing that utterly humiliating maid outfit!"

"Aw, but it looked so good on you," said Lang playfully.

Everyone agreed with this, just so they could watch Miles get all flustered.

**"Alright, so now I would like to open questions up to the interviewers in the audience! So, if you have any questions please ask them!"**

A man with short brown hair and glasses decides to ask the first question. "I was just wondering... can I get your autographs? I'm a huge fan and I would just _love_ it if you would please sign-"

*chucks a squirrel*

"GAH!"

**"When I said you could ask any questions, I lied. Let's have actual relevant questions okay? So please could someone clean out this guys body? Don't worry, he's only unconscious! ... I think."**

Shaking, a female reporter gathers the courage to ask the next question. "Am I right in assuming that this fic was originally intended to be a two-shot?"

**"Yes."**

"Well then my question is this: How did a fic that was meant to be a two-shot develop into this story with many chapters?"

**"Good question. The truth is, I was lazy "n.n You are correct, this was meant to be a two-shot. At the time, I thought the Lang Zi's would just be small dares and that I could get the whole thing over with in one relatively small chapter. However, when it came to actually writing the second chapter which was supposedly the last, I was in a meh mood. This basically means that I couldn't be bothered coming up with and writing so many Lang Zi's and so I decided to break them up. Little did I know that my idea for a short story would turn into this! However I'm glad it did ^_^**

Another reporter asks, "Kyo, what was your favourite chapter to write?"

**"Oh that's a hard one... Well I really enjoyed writing the chase scene between Ema and Maggey a lot! That being said, I really liked writing Hotting Up and both parts of The Final. To be honest, I don't think I could choose a specific chapter as I loved writing all of this fic."**

"xx-animeXalchemist-xx, any other fics you care to talk about?"

*chucks another squirrel*

**"Was that question relevant to _this _fic? No. Therefore you get squirreled. That being said I am currently writing an Ace Attorney fic and I also have ideas for quite a few more so hopefully I'll be able to write those soon."**

Trembling and praying that his question wouldn't make him the victim of the evil squirrels, the next reporter asked, "This is for everyone. Please could you all agree on what you thought the toughest Lang Zi was?"

After deliberating for a few minutes the group came to a decision.

"Without a doubt," said Miles, "The Guitar Hero Lang Zi. Unless you have actually played that song on Expert then you will never now the excruciating pain that engulfs your hands and wrists. If I ever meet anybody that can complete that song on Expert then I will do anything they say. That being said, I know I will never meet anyone of that description as to actually do the feat is impossible."

Stepping up, another reporter puts their life on the line to ask what they hope is a relevant question. "I have been wondering if there will be a sequel to Lang Zi Says. After all, quite a few times in the fic Kay says that this competition is the first _annual _one."

**"That is correct and I am planning a sequel. I was thinking that I could do a new Lang Zi fic each year at the same time of year so it really is annual. Of course, that all depends on whether or not the readers like the idea but there has been a lot of positive reviews for this story so I hope they would like to see more Lang Zi Says fics. I was even thinking of getting some new Ace Attorney characters to compete in the upcoming tournaments. Which actually leads me into the second question from _Lacrimosa Lolita _which is aimed at everyone and asks:** _Are you going to participate next year?_**"**

Lang: Of course! And next time I plan to win!  
Franziska: The only reason I will compete in this foolish tournament again is to prove that I can win as I was taken out of this one unexpectedly  
Maggey: I will compete again if Ema is! I must beat her!  
Ema: As long as my PDA stays safe then sure, I'll do it again next year. Lang Zi Says is just as fun as Science!  
Meekins: THIS LITTLE MAN WON'T BE RETURNING NEXT YEAR SIR!  
Lana: I shall compete again as I shall have to look out for Ema... and I must also beat Edgeworth  
Rhoda: If I don't have any flights to attend to then I will compete again. I guess I'll just have to see nearer the time  
Lauren: *still unconscious* **Let's just say no... and the same goes for Colias  
**Kay: DUH! It was my idea after all! I shall be there every year to be the fabulous host~~  
Gumshoe: Sure thing pal! I gotta prove I can do this!  
Miles: Absolutely not

"WHAT? Mr. Edgeworth you have to compete again!"

"There's no law saying that I have to. And nothing you can say or do will make me reconsider. And before you even try to threaten me with the man eating squirrels, just think about it: if you really do decide to set them on me then the chances of me actually returning to the competition decreases even more... if that is even possible."

Despite their best efforts and extreme begging, no one could persuade Edgeworth otherwise and it looked as if he really wouldn't be present at next year's tournament. Until I remembered something...

**"Edgey, you know how you're a gentleman who always keeps his word?"**

"Yes," said Miles uneasily.

**"Well then it looks like you'll have to compete next year."**

"What! Why?"

**"You see, earlier you said that if you ever met anyone who could play and complete Through The Fire And Flames on Expert then you would do anything they say. And it just so happens that I can do and have done just that. Therefore you must do what I say, and I say that you have to compete next year to the best of your abilities."**

"You've got to be kidding me! You're telling me that _you _can play that impossible song on expert?"

**"What's that supposed to mean? I'll have you know that I am really good at Guitar Hero! Translation: I have no life and so spend loads of my life on Guitar Hero! So it looks like you shall be joining us next year!"**

"Nngh! Damn..."

"Alright! Mr. Edgeworth is gonna compete again~~~!"

Everyone was glad Miles would be returning and they were all looking forward to the next Lang Zi Says competition. It was all set to be just as, if not more epically random as this one!

"Kyo..."

**"Yes Kay?"**

"Why is the cage door for the squirrels open?"

**"...OMIGOD I LEFT THE DOOR OPEN!"**

*squirrels are running around causing squirrelish horror*

**"Okay well it looks like we've come to a rather speedy end of this interview chapter! Please read and review as you know how much I love your reviews! Also, stay on the lookout for The Return of the Lang Zi Says Tournament next year! Thanks for reading and I'll hopefully see you again next year! NOW EVERYBODY RUN!"**

THE END


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